Make the Memories

The past week I’ve had a lot of conversations with a lot of different people about how short life is.

Some of us end up having that fact smack us in the face, then spend all of our time trying to prove that saying false.

Some unfortunately never get the chance.

I made a choice to always try and make memories and magic over the regular and day to day.

Hence…

Instead of “Pajama Day”, we did “Pirate Day”.

I dressed to the nines with what I had in my closet. When I came downstairs, Rob just looked at me and shook his head. Quinn said, “Looks like you’re really going all out pirate today, huh mom?”

We hung a sign outside the door so as soon as the kids arrived, they knew it was a special day. We wrote “How to be a Pirate” books. We got maps from the Great Pirate who sent us on a treasure hunt around the school. We marched with our red solo cup hook hands, eye patches covering our eyes,

Pirate hats on our heads, a stuffed parrot clipped to my shoulder, flag holders waving our pirate flag, and growled “AAAAARGH! Shiver me timbers!” to anyone who got in our way as we searched to fill up our pirate booty bags and plunder the treasure. They got a real metal key to remind them to always look for treasure, a mini treasure box to remind them that no matter how small, kindness is the greatest treasure of all, gold coins and gems, and a Mo Willems Elephant and Piggie book each, because filling our minds and reading books is better than gold!

Then we had ice cream sundaes and played Musical chairs to pirate music.

We made memories yesterday.

They may not remember the math lessons, the writing craft moves, the reading tools, but they’ll remember how they FELT yesterday.

That’s more important to me.

I ran into my sister quick, and took a selfie. I love that she gets me and lets me take selfies with her.

My mom showed up and refused to be in my selfies.

I’ll get one, eventually.

Then we went in to the salon to get Madison’s hair done. I love Gabriel Loren Salon. Raquel and Ashley and Alex are like our fairy godmothers. They always make us look great and feel better. We brought Madison’s dress there because we wanted them to see Madison all finished.

Raquel told me that as Madison came out, Quinn said to Raquel…”When she comes out, I may need a moment.”

They love their sister.

The picture shows it all where they all stood together.

We went to robs office, showed Tyler and Marisa, and Rob told Maddie he was speechless.

I’m glad Rob can look intimidating, because I want boys to know that Madison is something special, and her father is going to make sure they all know it.

I’ll also show the boys how I have a little Liam Nesson in me.

Madison was so out of her comfort zone. Her track coach was there and said he never saw Madison in a dress before.

I said me either.

I’m proud that she took a deep breath, stood up straight, and said, “Here we go…” as we walked into the ball.

I’m proud that she didn’t act embarrassed when I walked in with her and then picked her up early so I could get some pictures. She even let me kiss her goodbye in front of people.

Some kids act embarrassed of their parents around their friends. That makes me so sad. I’m glad Madison didn’t do that to me.

Even though I looked like a haggard Pirate.

(Don’t worry, I took off the eye patch and hook when I walked her into the dance).

We took the kids to dinner and I met a Facebook friend for the first time since we connected on Facebook. We talked a lot and it was nice.

Then the four of us had dinner. We were at a restaurant where my dad and brothers go every Wednesday. I took a selfie with “their” waitress and sent it to the three of them. I told them that she now loves me more, and instead of being their waitress, she will now go drink juices with me on Wednesday’s because she has switched to Team Keri.

We love to torture each other through text.

I love my crazy family.

It’s my brother Rob’s birthday today.

He hates social media. So no long post about how much I love him, how his texts every single day to me last year that said, “I’m stronger than I think I am” helped me get through each day, how the Haka he sent me helped my get through the first few injections, how he was a hero in September 11, and how I’m so glad God gave him to our family.

(See what I did there?)

I’ve decided I’m grabbing every moment I can. Nothing is promised to us.

All we have is now.

Take the pictures.

Take the selfies.

Make the memories.

Today Madison has HMEA, which is an orchestra that they select kids to be a part of from all over the Hamptons. Morgan has dance. Quinn has a party.

Lots of memories to be made today.

I’m tired.

My jaw still hurts.

My body aches.

But my heart is full.

Go make memories today.

May we all do something that will stay with us forever, and take a picture for us to look at. Let’s share in each other’s happiness.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

“ENOUGH!!!”

Did you know there were 11 school shootings in the first 23 days of 2018?

No?

Probably because we’ve gotten used to the news of angry, depressed, mentally ill teens getting hold of guns and shooting other kids.

It’s not a gun issue, people.

It’s a social issue.

What about suicide rates?

What’s going on with our kids?

Are we talking to our kids?

Are we talking enough?

Do you talk to your kids when you drive or are they on their phones, snapping and texting other teens?

Why did you let your child get a social media account when they were in fifth, sixth grade? Because everyone else was and you didn’t want your kid to feel left out?

Wait until that excuse is said right back to you when they say, “But mom, everyone else is vaping/smoking/doing drugs/partying/drinking….”

Instead of dealing with other issues, administrators in our schools are dealing with crap that happens in cyberspace… after hours as during school hours.

Guess what?

You let your kids have an account, you’re an accomplice. There’s such a thing as passive aggressive, and kids have been known to post pictures of groups of kids and state how much fun they have with these people, just to hurt people that aren’t in the picture. (As a matter of fact, some adults do that too.)

How many kids would be ok with you taking their social media accounts away?

If they throw a fit, you’ve probably got an addict on your hand.

Their brains and neurons are still forming. We’ve got five year olds who have been raised in front of iPads, that don’t know how to hold eye contact, have conversations, or take turns playing. App creators and social media billionaires admit they purposely made these things easy to use, consulted psychologists, and made them addicting.

Know what it does to your kids when they get more likes and followers? It’s a similar affect in their brain as a drug.

Know what happens when they don’t get likes? They get depressed and questions themselves.

Homes used to be safe havens. Safe zones. Now the bullying follows them to bed. Kids sleep with their phones.

Blue light technology screws up their sleep patterns.

Science, people.

Stop raising entitled kids.

Morgan asked me when she could go get her nails done like other kids. I had a whole conversation about needs and wants, inner beauty and outer beauty, and oh my God, are you really pouting over your nails when your mother was told she would be dead in a year and is still here???

Teach your children to count their blessings, not their “likes and followers”.

You know what?

I dont care if I get one freaking like.

I’ve said my peace.

If this post made you uncomfortable or angry, maybe you should look at your own kid’s social media accounts.

Chances are your kid is the one who is addicted.

Today I’m off to go throw the biggest pirate party ever. Instead of pajamas, I bought eye patches, pirate hats, jewels, pirate maps, and Elephant and Piggie books for the kids. I’m trying to raise children who will discover working together, playing, and using their imaginations can be fun before the social media and peer pressure sucks them all in.

My kids don’t have a single social media account. My kids come home, do homework, talk to me, play board games, and watch tv at 8:00 for the superhero shows.

I’m not special.

I’m being a mom.

Setting boundaries.

Today, I am praying for all of today’s youth, navigating a world without boundaries, that can be mean and cruel and scary and cause problems and make kids more depressed and anxious and sleep deprived.

May they all put down their phones, disconnect from social media and connect with real life.

Because man, this world is beautiful if you look up from your phone.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

Grit, Guards, Invisibility Cloak and the Lions.

I went to the dentist. It’s hard to tell if I have the beginning of osteonecrosis of the jaw. She actually said the same thing my Chinese herbalist said about the drug. It fills in the bone sometimes so quickly, which can cause the bone to die.

Which is so ironic, as I am doing everything I can to keep everything in my body alive. The only thing allowed to die the last year was the cancer.

I’m keeping everything else alive and with me…(except the appendix, which I will always be grateful for because it showed them how my body can fully heal.)

I refuse all radiation and X-rays due to some crazy thing they’ve told me I also have that should I get X-rays, pop! Pop! Pop! More cancer will grow.

No questions please.

Thanks.

So, we discussed applying heat and ice, and we put plaster molds in my mouth for a guard. I’ve got so much grit I’m apparently also gritting my teeth.

I mean, it’s not like I have anything to stress about.

I was messaging with a friend at 5:30 am, and I wrote to her about these hard times we are both apparently in.

There is a speech that was given about being gladiators in the arena by President Roosevelt.

It’s me.

I’m in this arena.

I was thrown into this arena with nothing. I was walking about, living my life, then BOOM!

I’m in this arena with lions circling me.

Cancer has different arenas.

I skipped over the other stage arenas where you get a little bitten off but get let out.

Not me.

I’m in the arena where you never get out.

So now I have to be cunning.

Sometimes the lions just circle me.

Those are the dark days.

Sometimes I stroke the lions and they lay quiet and I sing them songs of the lessons they’ve taught me while trying to eat me.

Sometimes they pounce and hold me down and take a bite or two.

The difference now is that the bloodthirsty crowd is on my side.

“Kill the Lions!!!”

Call me Spartacus.

I’ve received something that helps me when I need to go to my corner to catch my breath.

When I need to feel strong when I’m tired.

That helps me bring out my courage when I am afraid.

Jesus.

If you look at the history of the arena and wild animals, I believe that Christians were the ones thrown in the arena.

I’ve got Jesus in the arena with me.

I cover myself with him.

Kind of like the Harry Potter invisibility cloak.

The lions can’t see me.

Then I get a brown box delivered to my door with potions made from recipes that have been handed down for generations from a country across the world that helps my body stay strong.

And I live to fight another day in the arena.

Somewhere there is a scientist working hard on a medicine that will someday slay all the lions, or at least tame them.

I’ve got to keep fighting until they do.

With my invisibility cloak wrapped around me like my faith, and Jesus in the ring holding my hand.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

“A Poem”

Good morning.

I’m tired.

I snapped at my kids last night. Constant jaw pain, not eating, aches bones, dealing with people who underestimate my tenacity, and trying not to grab my face mask every time I see people cough while the news blares warnings about the flu…

I’m tired.

I’m standing up to people because of something that’s bigger than what it appears to be.

I tend to stand up a lot.

I’m tired.

I’m going to the dentist today and am envisioning hearing that I’m just clenching my jaw and it’s not osteonecrosis from whatever medicine they give me to stop cancer from going to the bones…

Which works because it apparently causes your bones to disintegrate.

Sorry, nothing left here, bones are dead, move along, there’s a nice organ somewhere nearby.

I’m tired.

Teachers work hard.

Longer hours than you think.

Then add in a faculty meeting.

I’m tired.

I didnt go to sleep with a meditation playing. Instead I found a channel with a preacher quoting the Bible and how much Jesus loves me.

I wanted the word to fill my head as I fell asleep… and woke up…. and fell asleep… and woke up…and fell asleep… and woke up.

I’m tired.

The rain and cold are hurting my bones, and I need a vacation somewhere warm where my feet won’t get numb when I put them in the water to pray.

I’m tired.

But I ‘ll hug my children this morning and apologize. I’ll go to the meeting and then sing silly songs and teach children how to be superheroes and open their toolbox in their mind and THINK! I’ll come home and catch up on laundry and cleaning and go food shopping and get myself some soups.

I’m tired.

But I’m here.

I’m holding on.

Tough times don’t last.

Tough people do.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

The Peaceful Scorpion

This may be one of my more informative blog/posts. I’m not a doctor, but I can tell you one thing.

Your feet are amazing.

Your lymph system is amazing.

And The Peaceful Scorpion is amazing.

Last December, one of the schools in the district sent me a gift certificate. I was overwhelmed by everything at the time and put it in the drawer. Over Christmas break, my sister in law Sandy said she would treat me to reflexology.

I thought it was a shoulder rub.

For real.

I also am very uncomfortable about my feet. I’ve never liked pedicures. I’m ticklish. I feel weird having people touch my toes. I wonder if my feet smell. I rarely put nail polish on them, even more now since there are chemicals in everything and good lord I dont have time to go to an organic nail salon.

When we walked into The Peaceful Scorpion, I had to fill out a form. The inevitable, “Medical issues” part has to be filled out.

Well, wouldn’t you know, that gift certificate the other school gave me? The owner said to me, “Wait a minute, are you Candy’s friend? She just got you a gift certificate to here! I know all about you!”

And that, my friends, is six degrees of Keri Stromski.

Danielle told me what reflexology was, I pretended like I knew it wasn’t my shoulders and would be my feet, then

I took off my shoes and socks, prayed my feet didn’t stink, got up on the table and snuggled under the blankets.

The heated blankets.

Pure bliss.

The lights were turned down low and she had music on. She worked magic.

I knew that God had her open her business across the street from my school that very month so that I wouldn’t have to travel far for a therapy that would help me heal.

And heal me it has.

Some hospitals are starting to offer reflexology to cancer patients. Your feet are roadmaps to your whole body. Have a headache? Press your third toe.

There are pressure points all over your body that help travel healing to distant places on your other body parts.

I’ve gotten so comfortable with Danielle that sometimes I’ll snore during the session. I blame it on the blankets.

Every once in a while we switch to a massage. I also was reluctant to do that, as one time I had a massage years ago and couldn’t move my neck for a week.

Not this time.

Danielle uses her hands and helps get my lymphatic system moving. Your lymph system is so incredibly important. There was cancer in several lymph nodes. Their job is to catch the cancer, but it got backed up, there was blockage, and then it slipped past the nodes. Guess what?

Not anymore.

My lymph nodes are all clean now.

I’ve always wondered why they remove lymph nodes, as I imagine them as the the goalies for your body. If they remove a lot of them, you can develop lymphedema.

Not fun.

Having your lymph system working properly is essential for your immune system too.

If you can’t get to a massage, exercise. Rebounding is great for your lymph system. It’s a little trampoline you just lightly bounce on.

You can also get a dry brush and dry brush your body for five minutes before your shower.

You know that saying, “It gets your juices flowing!”

That’s your lymph system.

Yesterday Danielle did a whole massage and talked to me after. She said I was incredibly tight…and not in a good way, like six pack abs tight.

She said maybe that’s why I’m in so much pain.

I havent been going to or doing yoga, and need to do that more.

She also said to do the Lion face, as well as lift my head up and say the vowels, “aaaaaaaah” and “oooooooh”.

I told her that when I wake up, I find my hands are tightly clenched.

I dont think my body is even relaxing when I sleep.

She suggested I use the insight timer app and do progressive relaxation meditations before bed.

I shared my flu shot with her and we toasted to my healing.

Everyone needs a Danielle.

I was so lucky when I first started going to see her. Someone, who I still don’t know did this because they told Danielle they wanted to stay anonymous, paid for the first few months of sessions for me. They must be a friend of mine on Facebook, as that is how everyone knew I was going there.

So anonymous friend, thank you.

Thank you giving me so much time with Danielle, so that I learned how important she would become to my healing.

Thank you, Danielle. Her hands are healing. She has a gift. She has also done reiki, used singing and chanting bowls, selenite wand, and felt my energy.

She knew when the cancer was leaving my body, as she no longer felt the angry monster.

Plus, not only has she touched my feet, she also hasn’t minded when I didn’t shave my legs because I was to sore to bend.

I love her.

Valentines Day is coming up. Treat your loved one to some time with Danielle.

If you don’t live near me, get yourself a dry brush, some good oils, some soft music, and treat your lymph system with love.

Maybe even rub your feet.

My principal starts every day with the morning announcements and ends with “Put your best foot forward”.

I was talking to a friend yesterday who was worried about something coming up. I told her to stop worrying.

To be where her feet are, right here and now.

The thing she was worried about? Ended up being lovely.

Worry wastes time.

Today may we all put our best foot forward, and keep our minds where our feet are.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

Happy Birthday, Dear Sister

Today is my sisters birthday.

We are total opposites.

I love big hair, makeup, sparkly, am a hoarder, sometimes panic, and overshare.

She is understated, classic, minimalist, cool as a cucumber, and very private.

Yet this year we have both been more alike than different.

Both brave.

Both strong.

Both unwavering.

Both fierce.

Able to laugh through pain and fear and discomfort.

On my hardest days, I would get a text that would simply say…

Love you

Love you

Love you

And that’s all I needed.

She’s been there for my kids. Usually I’m the crazy Aunt, but she upped the game by giving us “Poo pourie”, something you spray in the bathroom before you go.

I think my kids never laughed so hard when we got home and they realized it was for real, and have never gone to the bathroom so much.

Well played, Aunt Jill.

Today I see your spray and up the ante.

It’s also my friend Joann’s birthday. If you ever want to meet a generous, Giving, loving, and funny woman, let me introduce you to her. I’ve adopted her as a pseudo sister.

I love her.

She loves me.

That’s all you need to make a pseudo sister.

I’ll teach all day, do the exercises Paula had Heidi videotape for me for my jaw pain. It’s called “Lion Face”. Rob walked in on me doing it and I scared the bejeezus our of him. I noted to myself to NOT do it in public.

Yesterday in bible study I said to my mom how easy it is to talk about Jesus there, in church, in a safe place. But we are told to go forth and make disciples. That can be hard. I’m not here change anyone’s faith. I’m here for those who are lost and listening.

I once was lost, but now I’m found.

Today’s Love God Greatly Blog focused on the phrase “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”.

We’ve lost the ability to listen on our tippytoes.

We spend more time thinking of a response than listening to what is being said, and sometimes speak at the same time and not listen at all.

Listen with empathy.

Be slow to act, or react.

Use the breath to expand the pause. Act with kindness.

That’s my goal today.

Breathe, do the lionface, stretch, listen, and try to somehow get a birthday hug from the bravest girl I know.

Love you

Love you

Love you

In Jesus’s name,

Amen.

Xoxo

Keri

Throwback post to my Second Anointing with Oil.

Every so often, I will post on here one of my Facebook memories that pop up so you can all see the journey that lead me to today.

Enjoy.

“God, oil, prayer, USA”

Last night I invited an elder from my church to my home. His wife and son came with him. He had stage four cancer and God cured him. I was in pain from my cancer shots, and exhausted. But I knew in my heart this was what I needed.

We talked about his path and treatment. We talked about his son’s struggles and how God is helping him.

I showed them my necklace I wear all the time that my brother Rob gave me. The necklace with Joshua 1:9 on it.

Their son?

He pulled out the same exact necklace. And his name is Josh.

I saw him rubbing it at times when speaking of his troubles. I don’t even know if he realized he did it, but I find myself holding it when I am scared, rubbing my thumb over the words.

I told Josh that I remembered one day in bible study how he sat in class with us. He teaches my daughter’s confirmation class at that time, so he is never there. (I’m usually the youngest one there… by about twenty years or so.) I remember this young handsome man saying how his friends question him why he is so dedicated to God. He said he couldn’t imagine not believing in God and having faith and hope. His words struck my heart that day.

My friend Cathy said the same exact thing to me last week.

An hour before they came to my house?

My former school nurse Jacquie types the same exact thing.

3 times.

Three has been my number, as when something happens three times, I know it’s God whispering, “This is the way”.

Three children.

The trinity.

Three wise men.

Don’s wife told me about another friend of hers who prays with her.

Her friend?

A girl I went to high school with.

This girl is also friends with Matt, a man I work with. A man whose sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer. The sister went to get chaga mushrooms and the women at the booth at the farmers market said she needed to find me. Her brother called that week and gave her my number.

Six degrees of Keven Bacon has changed to three degrees of Keri Stromski.

Either you believe or you don’t.

I believe.

My belief holds me and carries through my darkest hours.

The old Keri was resentful of the time I had to spend at church to get my daughter confirmed. Then I slowly came to love it. Then I got cancer, and now I know the devil gave it to me to test my love for God. Just like Job, chapter 2.

Stupid devil. I haven’t questioned once my love for God, or His love for me.

Nice try, Satan. Move along.

Last night, they all put their hands on me, anointed my head with oil and prayed.

When they finished, I asked if I could do the same to Josh. I didn’t know what to pray, but the words came from my heart as I spoke.

I am cured.

God knows it.

He loves me and is using me to show others how amazing He is.

Our country is so divided and full

of hate. I found my tumors the week of Election Day.

I left Sloan for good on Inauguration Day.

The darkest period of my life coincided with so much strife in our beloved country. It’s time we all take a deep breath and move forward together.

Our country needs more love, faith, hope, kindness, courage, and God.

And dancing and hugging.

We could always use more dancing and hugging.

So thank you, to this God loving family that came over to bless me and pray with me.

This was my second anointing.

I am cured.❤️

Back to present day Keri. I just left church and saw this family. We all still pray for each other.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

Closer I am to Fine

I started the day sore and took my time getting up. I didnt have my sploosh because Rob had made onions and mushrooms with turmeric and I wanted to eat something hot. Sometimes a girl just wants hot food in the morning.

Then we started to clean the kitchen. We’ve been working hard on trying to finish the house. It’s been thirteen years, and some molding on a door makes more difference than you realize.

As I worked, I decided I needed to do something. I needed some kind of therapy because my body hurt so badly, and I have some gift certificates to the new salt cave on Main Street. I tried to get someone to go with me, but no one was free for the spur of the moment trip.

I stopped by the farmer market and had just missed my Chaga Island Friend, Debbie. I walked into the salt place and wouldn’t you know…

A young man who I had in first grade fourteen or so years ago works there. Made my bones feel even older.

They were booked, and I couldn’t get in. As I drove away, I felt the feeling in my heart that I still needed salt therapy.

So I went to the beach.

When I pulled in, a police officer also was walking the beach, looking like he was on a case. I think he stayed a little longer to keep an eye on the woman who walked to the waters edge and started taking off her shoes.

I dont blame him. I looked crazy. My hair was whipping with the wind and I had superhero socks on under my boots.

I pulled up my pant legs and did the Facebook live video. I went into the freezing cold salt water and prayed. I did it Love because where two or more are gathered in His name…

I know God hears all prayers the moment they are laid on the heart, but I also pictured the prayer leaving my body, floating into the water, traveling to the deepest parts of the oceans, evaporating and flying up in fog and mist, covering mountains halfway across the world, then bursting through into space and soaring to Heaven.

I wrote some words in the sand, shook off the sand, found a shell with a snail still in it, threw it back, then went home.

Grounding is a real thing. It helps heal your body. Salt is also healing. It stops decay, as it is used as a rub before freezing animals. Jesus also said we are the salt and light of the Earth. Sometimes, we need a little extra salt to bring back our light.

Then we all went dress shopping for Maddie. We stopped and took a deep breath before entering the ginormous dress store. Rob even said, “May the force be with us.”

Maddie went in and was overwhelmed.

Morgan?

She was in heaven.

Madison was specific.

No poofiness.

No sequins or sparkle or glitter.

No cleavage showing at all.

No cut outs anywhere.

No dresses that look like your naked under it with lace.

And she only wanted one color.

Which pretty much left us with only five dresses to try on in a store with thousands of dresses.

Needle in a haystack.

We were also surrounded by girls trying on prom dresses, so there was my ninth grader surrounded by bigger, older girls trying on all the types of dresses. Dads were all outside standing around looking lost and in shock at the price tags. Moms were all emotional, either saying, “Absolutely not,” or “I love it!”

I sent texts to the family showing them the dress and we picked it out. Maddie even agreed to sparkly shoes, but flats.

I cant wait for you to all see the picture Friday. We also got her a necklace, bracelet, and ring, the finest cubic zirconia that $30 can buy.

We went to dinner, then for a little treat of eyebrow grooming.

I’ve had a love hate relationship with my own. It stems from when I was a teen and my mom held me down and grabbed the tweezers. I’ve never waxed them or had anyone touch them … until yesterday.

Morgan loved it.

Maddie and I were a little traumatized. Apparently her apples fell from my tree.

I’ll let you all decide when you see me how it turned out.

In the way home, played music from my college days. I guess the dress shopping got me feeling nostalgic for my sorority formals. We played Barenaked Ladies, Pearl Jam, Paul Simons “Diamonds on the soles of her shoes”, 10,00 Maniacs “ These are the days”, and Indigo Girls.

I loved Indigo Girls because I could sing either harmony.

As we played and sang, “Closer I am to fine”, I realized it applies to me.

And as the day had gone on, I got closer to fine.

I’m fine.

Today, I’ll be fine as I go to church then cheer on Madison at her meet.

I’ll be fine as I go get more flaxseed oil at Whole Foods.

And I’ll be fine as I continue to thank God for all of his blessings, and pray for continued healing.

For all of us.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

The Day I Broke Up with My Second Oncologist

Another throwback Facebook post.

I’ll put one up now and then so you can see how far I’ve come.

Pretend you’ve got time travel goggles too… it’s more fun.

“Size Matters, Seeds, Inauguration”.

Today I have to take a half day and go to Sloan. I have to have my vitals taken, meet with the oncologist and go over my bloodwork, then…

Get my bone injection and my ovary injection.

Two big needles.

I mean… big.

One goes in my ass cheek, the other in my arm.

They hurt.

A lot.

They hurt going in, they hurt after, and they make you hurt and sore for days after.

Oh, and last time, I had a side effect of bleeding for three weeks with early menopause. (Sorry fellas. Gross period talk, but just keeping it real.)

I have an elder from my church coming tonight to pray over me. He had stage four cancer and cured himself. I know I am going to need God today.

More than ever.

Last night I went to see a documentary called “Seed”. I cried in the car telling Sandy and Donna about Sloan on Wednesday. I held Krista’s hand just a little for strength during the movie. I feel safe with my family and friends.

It mentioned how Monsanto owns 80% of the world’s seeds. How the chemicals they use to genetically modify organisms (GMO) cause cancer, but hey! They are making money! And the Supreme Court case that they won because Clarence Thomas voted in their favor? Judge Thomas used to be a Monsanto lawyer. The corruption and tentacles are everywhere.

Seeds are a door to our past, and to our future. That one little seed is a result of thousands of years of other seeds being planted and growing, and will carry on the legacy by producing more seeds for our future.

But we keep screwing it up.

Our new president is being sworn in.

Even if you don’t respect the man, respect the idea. I am having a hard time respecting any politician lately after my eyes have been opened to Monsanto, big pharma and medical companies. But respect for others, and gratitude for everything…

It’s everything.

I send him love and gratitude, and prayers that he goes after big pharma. Prayers he shows compassion to people like me and doesn’t put us in a pool where money is capped for our treatment. Prayers he leaves schools alone and lets us worry how to kill bears while education and celebrating growth. Prayers he changed his tone and sends out feelings of unity.

I have a feeling curing my cancer will happen first.

(Present day Keri here… my feeling was right)🙌🏻

So today..

I will talk to my kindergarteners about the new President and hang up the poster with his picture added next to the other men.

I will dance.

I will try to breath when I pull down my pants and have drugs injected into my body in a place that makes me feel hopeless and stupid for saying “I am cured.”

I will pray with my church elder and let him lay his healing hands on me.

I will hold the seeds I was given last night in the palm of my hand. Carrots, sunflowers, and Chinese Forget me Not.

I will look at these videos and pictures and and remember…

I am cured.

Throwback Break up Note…

I wrote this breakup letter last year on this day.

Here you go…

Dear Sloan,

I want to let you know I am breaking up with you. You’ve served your purpose, but it’s time I move on. I deserve more.

I loved my surgeon. Truly. When I found out I wasn’t a candidate for surgery, I was sad she would no longer be part of my team.

My first oncologist? The one who told me I would live only weeks or months or a year or two if it spread to my bone? I am now thankful for her. Had she not scared the crap out of me, I wouldn’t have questioned everything, researched countless hours in “Keri’s Cancer Crash Course College”. I wouldn’t have radically changed my diet and met Paula at the Giving Room. I wouldn’t have gotten over my foot issue and met Danielle at the Peaceful Scorpion. I wouldn’t have taken a chance and met a man who gave me hope and belief I am truly cured. So thank you, first oncologist. Your crappy bedside manner became my wake up call.

My new oncologist and nurse at the satellite Sloan? My new doctor is nice, and gave me a little more hope…but still gives me a funny look when I tell her I am already cured. I even made her feel my boob today to try and find my tumor, because I couldn’t just now. Plus, I gave her one last feel, for old time sake.

My nurse Sue was kind, and let me watch my kindergarten class dancing when she gave me my shot in my ass. It was a big needle. But watching them dance helped me get through it.

I am in pain right now. My arm, my ass, my spirit just a bit. I know I will have some pain in my new relationship, but I’ll take pain with a dose of hope any day.

So thank you Sloan, but I found someone else. Someone who doesn’t look at me like I’m crazy. Someone who makes me feel in every bone of my

body that I’m not crazy, but cured.

It’s not you, it’s me.

So keep doing the work you do, go see other people. Thank you for saving my Dad’s life with his six primary cancers. For that, I will always be grateful. (He is your original radical remission patient, if you would only open your western eyes and believe.)

I wish you love.

Love,

Keri