Closer I am to Fine

I started the day sore and took my time getting up. I didnt have my sploosh because Rob had made onions and mushrooms with turmeric and I wanted to eat something hot. Sometimes a girl just wants hot food in the morning.

Then we started to clean the kitchen. We’ve been working hard on trying to finish the house. It’s been thirteen years, and some molding on a door makes more difference than you realize.

As I worked, I decided I needed to do something. I needed some kind of therapy because my body hurt so badly, and I have some gift certificates to the new salt cave on Main Street. I tried to get someone to go with me, but no one was free for the spur of the moment trip.

I stopped by the farmer market and had just missed my Chaga Island Friend, Debbie. I walked into the salt place and wouldn’t you know…

A young man who I had in first grade fourteen or so years ago works there. Made my bones feel even older.

They were booked, and I couldn’t get in. As I drove away, I felt the feeling in my heart that I still needed salt therapy.

So I went to the beach.

When I pulled in, a police officer also was walking the beach, looking like he was on a case. I think he stayed a little longer to keep an eye on the woman who walked to the waters edge and started taking off her shoes.

I dont blame him. I looked crazy. My hair was whipping with the wind and I had superhero socks on under my boots.

I pulled up my pant legs and did the Facebook live video. I went into the freezing cold salt water and prayed. I did it Love because where two or more are gathered in His name…

I know God hears all prayers the moment they are laid on the heart, but I also pictured the prayer leaving my body, floating into the water, traveling to the deepest parts of the oceans, evaporating and flying up in fog and mist, covering mountains halfway across the world, then bursting through into space and soaring to Heaven.

I wrote some words in the sand, shook off the sand, found a shell with a snail still in it, threw it back, then went home.

Grounding is a real thing. It helps heal your body. Salt is also healing. It stops decay, as it is used as a rub before freezing animals. Jesus also said we are the salt and light of the Earth. Sometimes, we need a little extra salt to bring back our light.

Then we all went dress shopping for Maddie. We stopped and took a deep breath before entering the ginormous dress store. Rob even said, “May the force be with us.”

Maddie went in and was overwhelmed.


She was in heaven.

Madison was specific.

No poofiness.

No sequins or sparkle or glitter.

No cleavage showing at all.

No cut outs anywhere.

No dresses that look like your naked under it with lace.

And she only wanted one color.

Which pretty much left us with only five dresses to try on in a store with thousands of dresses.

Needle in a haystack.

We were also surrounded by girls trying on prom dresses, so there was my ninth grader surrounded by bigger, older girls trying on all the types of dresses. Dads were all outside standing around looking lost and in shock at the price tags. Moms were all emotional, either saying, “Absolutely not,” or “I love it!”

I sent texts to the family showing them the dress and we picked it out. Maddie even agreed to sparkly shoes, but flats.

I cant wait for you to all see the picture Friday. We also got her a necklace, bracelet, and ring, the finest cubic zirconia that $30 can buy.

We went to dinner, then for a little treat of eyebrow grooming.

I’ve had a love hate relationship with my own. It stems from when I was a teen and my mom held me down and grabbed the tweezers. I’ve never waxed them or had anyone touch them … until yesterday.

Morgan loved it.

Maddie and I were a little traumatized. Apparently her apples fell from my tree.

I’ll let you all decide when you see me how it turned out.

In the way home, played music from my college days. I guess the dress shopping got me feeling nostalgic for my sorority formals. We played Barenaked Ladies, Pearl Jam, Paul Simons “Diamonds on the soles of her shoes”, 10,00 Maniacs “ These are the days”, and Indigo Girls.

I loved Indigo Girls because I could sing either harmony.

As we played and sang, “Closer I am to fine”, I realized it applies to me.

And as the day had gone on, I got closer to fine.

I’m fine.

Today, I’ll be fine as I go to church then cheer on Madison at her meet.

I’ll be fine as I go get more flaxseed oil at Whole Foods.

And I’ll be fine as I continue to thank God for all of his blessings, and pray for continued healing.

For all of us.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



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