Driving lessons

It’s day three.

I had a pretty great day two.

I was all jazzed up and couldn’t sleep from the steroids, so I did all the detox things… dry brushing, mouth care, and Epsom salt bath. Some strands of hair came out and my heart stopped. I prayed it would stay in for the weekend, as I have my nephews high school graduation party today.

I started my day by walking two miles all by myself while Maddie ran. Well, not really, because I was on the phone with my dad and mom the whole time telling them every detail from the day before while they were telling me to sit and not overdo it. We always manage to laugh and joke through tears and hard times…”Linda, listen, listen to me, leeeeeeeenda, pa pow!”

I brought maddie to work and took Morgan and quinn to the beach so I could eat my sploosh by the water. I saw a bunch of students and gave out points in the “Spot Your teacher” game. I had some lovely hugs and a deep discussion about faith and Jesus with someone who just clicks with me. Turns out she is a Valley Stream girl, and there was another Valley Stream girl on the beach with us too. Never knew any of these women when I lived there, but my old hometown keeps showing up in my new one.

The kids and I picked up Joe and we went to The Giving Room for KFS Free juice day part two.

Saw more students and gave out more points. We ran into Madison’s Latin teacher and told Joe the story about how when I was pregnant and so very sick, I was given the number of another teacher who had the same condition. I called her crying, not thinking I could live through the pregnancy, and she told me I could do it.

And I did.

And years later she had Maddie as a student.

God’s hand at work again, putting people in your life you need, when you need them.

I showed Joe the store Good Food and we picked up some empanadas, went grocery shopping and gave out more points to students, then ran home, made him a quick lunch and he went to the game.

More strands of hair came out, and I decided that instead of waiting for day 21 to come and have clumps of hair start falling out, that I would take control.

A lifeshock can knock you off your feet, steal your breath, and fill you with fear. But then?

You can stand back up, breathe in slowly, and replace fear with faith.

I sent some messages to friends and family that Monday evening around 7 we can all meet at the beach. I’ve ordered some sprigs of baby’s breath, as I had a vision of baby’s breath come to me. I looked it up, and it’s a symbol of purity, love, new beginnings, and the Holy Spirit. Everyone can bring a towel to sit on, my friend Paula has found a prayer that’s perfect, and Raquel is coming to cut away all the hair that’s left, and we will let the wisps fly to the wind, to the sea, to the sky, and let our prayers carry it up to Heaven.

Then everyone can toast with whatever beverage they choose to bring. I’m not having kids come, except my own and their cousins. I’m hoping to be strong and courageous and full of peace, and then laugh.

I ran quick to where my old summer house was and saw people who i grew up with and called family. I also saw the people who bought our old bungalow, and hugged them too. They were my best friends parents from Valley Stream.

And there she is again.

Valley Stream.

I keep having a little bit of my hometown in my heart everywhere I go lately.

Quinn finished golf camp and played in the actual course. We were allowed to follow him in golf carts, and it was my first time ever driving a golf cart. It was amazing. Maddie has been nervous about driving, so we switched and I gave her the very first driving lesson of her life.

Almost two years ago I was told I wouldnt be here. I remember thinking how I would miss teaching Maddie to drive.

Then I changed the story I was telling myself. We always write the shitty first draft and say all the things we will miss, instead of all the things we will do. We can tell ourselves any story we want.

Make it the good ones.

As we watched Quinn play from hole to hole, I got a text that a friend was having a lifeshock moment.

We finished with Quinn, rob took the kids home, and I went to her and sat for two hours holding a hand, breathing, talking about Jesus and life and how blessed we are, and feeling energy. It was two of the most beautiful hours of my life.

Sometimes, just sitting in sacred space with someone and breathing can be a beautiful gift, for both people.

I came home, had dinner, and went to bed.

I’m about to go do the whole detox thing again, as my mouth is tingly and I want to stay ahead of mouth sores. I’ll see if I can go for a walk, and then I’ll rest up for the party.

I’ll get more hugs and love and heal even more.

It will be a beautiful day.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

More Cowbell

This is a long one but I know that some people need to hear some things and follow along for cancer reasons as well as other things. I’ll do my best.

Yesterday I had a lot of gut feelings strengthened. Madame swoosh said that I know things, things come to me, and it’s almost creepy, but I need to stop thinking and just trust it. Don’t worry if it makes sense, just act on it. That anything is possible if you believe.

That’s the Holy Spirit at work.

She also told me to stop looking at every millimeter of my body while in the bathroom every morning. She said she saw me doing it and to stop it.

Which is hard when your oncologist Emails you two weeks into treatment and asks if you feel your tumors changing.

Rob and I left early and as we drove I saw my teaching partner Penny and her husband walking the road. We pulled over and got a quick hug.

It set the tone for the day.

I went to the Meetinghouse Deli and got my hugs and food for the day. I love those ladies, and they got me through my pregnancy with Quinn. Now they are getting me through chemo with food made with love and hugs and love notes.

I ran across the street for my hugs from the office. What teacher goes into school during summer vacation just for hugs?

This teacher.

I walked into the cancer center and all the ladies loved the hair. It’s bittersweet, as it’s something I would never have done or chosen, and it will only be for a few days as the third treatment is when it falls out. But it’s nice to know people will like how it looks when it grows back. I looked up Captain Marvel and pretend to be her.

My nurse Luisa took my vitals and told me they all pray for me, the nurses, doctors, secretaries, techs, janitorial staff. Then I saw my friend from high school’s sister in law Kim who hugged me quick.

My oncologist walked into the room with a new fellow, and right behind them was my special nurse Heather. She always finds me for hugs when I need them. I think my doctor is always a little surprised when she sees all the nurses hugging me. Love is the greatest medicine there is, and Stony Brook gives out extra.

She stood right in front of me with an excited look and I asked right away if she wanted to check the breast. She did and went right to my armpits, then nodded her head and smiled. Then she felt my breast and said, “Yes, lymph nodes are definitely smaller, tumor is more defined and smaller.”I grabbed onto her arms and cried.

She explained to the fellow how the tumor was taking up half of my breast and then the fellow examined me. As she did, my oncologist explained to her how I’m doing my own research experiment with the frozen peas and blueberries and socks, and explained how it made sense. She also said I am not her first oligometastatic patient but I am the first with something else going on. It felt good to hear that she has had other oligometastatic patients. She knows what it looks like.

She thinks I could be one of them.

We also discussed the liver and that it actually could be cancer. She doesn’t know why it isn’t lighting up as cancer though. When the chemo is done, she will compare all of the scans side by side. It could be too small to light up now. If it is cancer, this chemo should take it away. She also was glad I had all the blood taken elsewhere and would like to see the results, as well as discussed the biopsy. She said she is familiar with the CARIS, but they are actually starting to move away from it and using the Guardian360, which is a molecular one with more information. Her plan is to biopsy it after it is removed from surgery. Her plan made sense. That gut feeling immediately came, and it felt right. I told her I am interviewing the man from Oregon and will rely on my gut feeling to see if I add him to my team. She also said I was doing great as she looked at me. I told her Dr Snuffleuffugus was supporting me with his herbs. She told me I am now on a three week on, one week off cycle, as week three could be harder.

Three is a good number for me, so I am praying for the best. No chemo next week.

Then we left to go to chemo, and on the way I saw Wing, my nurse from my original biopsy.

More hugs.

We had trouble getting the IV and needle in, as they went by my wrist and didn’t use the heating packs like we usually do. The second nurse tried, asked me, “Where am I going?”, put a hot pack right where I pointed, and it went right in. She said it didn’t look like a good vein but it was a great one, so much so that Rob said blood came out and the nurse said not to look.

I breathed.

Then you wait for your labs to see if you can get chemo. They check your liver, kidneys, and red and white blood cells. I got the green light and we started.

Rob got right to work with the socks, peas, blueberries and ice chips spoon feeding in my mouth. He explained the reasoning as my nurses because it was a whole new crew. They watched me carefully the first fifteen minutes, looking if I took a deep breath or sighed, taking my blood pressure every five minutes as well as taking my temperature. Allergic reactions are serious and the nurses are on top of it.

It was funny when my nurse tried to take the temperature orally, as it wouldn’t even read because my mouth was too cold. She had to use my armpit and remarked how great I smelled. We had an informative discussion on deodorant, (i used Schmidt’s vanillla and rose yesterday because my secret nurse Amy gave it to me and joke I love hugging her because her armpits smell great.). I also told them how Danielle from the Peaceful Scorpion suggested just plain aloe from an aloe plant. We also discussed almond milk over regular milk and carageenan free is important.

She wrote it all down.

The nurses took a tour of the new building they are moving to in November. It has more privacy for patients, and even a place with an electric fireplace. I love the thought of it being more cozy. Comfort matters when you are in a chair for hours.

My friends Amy and Raquel sent me pictures of Amy donating her hair to locks of Love, right as I was talking about how I laughed about loving to hug her and smell her armpits. God is always right on time. Two angels in my life in one picture as I speak of them in a chemo chair.

I also got a funny watermelon picture from the Giving Room and laughed out loud. They are still recovering from Free KFS day.

Oregon called as well as we discussed how I will fax my results as soon as I get them. We also discussed the biopsy and she will let Donnie know. My hope is that I have this rock star oncologist learn about this rockstar holistic specialist and together they will be like the wonder twins and find ways to cure all cancers of all stages and types.

I finally finished and came home to beautiful sunflowers from a mystery friend. Thank you, friends. Cases and cases of Essentia Water and sunflowers left by mystery friends were silver linings.

I drank and drank water to flush it out of my system, then got picked up by Paula to go to a special evening.

I’ve heard of this woman, Maryann the Medium, for years as she is my sister in laws high school friend.

I love Jesus. I love the Bible. I know some people feel that mediums are wrong and evil spirits come through them. If you go to them you could go to hell.

I also know the Holy Spirit. I also have felt heaven a few times since the diagnosis. It’s pure love. That’s why I’m not afraid of the actual dying, because instead of just reading about it in the Bible, I’ve felt it.

Pure love.

Just love.

And isn’t that Jesus? He gave us a commandment to love. When you feel love, to me? That’s Jesus.

Jesus is love.

I sat in a room last night and there were several people I know. Maryann went to three of them.

I listened as well as felt the love she was talking about. She said everything I’ve felt. How there is no pain, no suffering, just love. That’s how the Bible explains heaven, that Jesus died for us and we all get to go there when we die and feel love like we’ve never felt and be healed.

She spoke of how our loved ones don’t want us suffering in pain and sadness, but to live and smile and honor the lives we have been given.

That’s sounds a lot like many of the Bible verses I’ve been reading.

She gave peace to many in that room.

As I got up to leave, a woman turned around from the front row and I saw my Heather again. I started and ended my day with hugs from her. God keeps putting her in my path. I’m so glad.

He always picks who I need when I dont even know I need them myself.

I came home and hugged the kids, then rob and I sat with Joe a while. I told him about my day and night, and explained that it was the Holy Spirit that whispered to my heart to take him in to our homes and hearts, as crazy as it was. I said how it can be hard for me to have such beautiful moments like the evening I just had and know that some people I love and respect think it could send me to hell. Rob mentioned Moses and Isaiah and other prophets in the Bible and I felt better. I also sometimes feel bad when I bring out tokens and prayers some Catholic friends have given me where you pray to Mary or St Jude or St Peregrine.

Rob said that I am always asking other people to pray for me here in earth. I ask on Facebook and Instagram and twitter and my blog. I can ask whoever I want to pray for me, but I know that Jesus is the one to go to and through. It’s never wrong to ask for prayers.

Have I mentioned how much I love Rob?

I’m up, as I think the steroids have me all jazzed up. I’m drinking water and then going to try and go back to bed. If that doesn’t work, into a detox bath I go.

I had a beautiful day yesterday.

Thank you to all of you who prayed and texted and sent messages and made by day even more beautiful.

I am so lucky.

Today may everything be as it should be.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

Round Three

Today is round three of chemo.

Yesterday was phase two of haircuts.

Have I mentioned it’s been quite the summer?

I laughed yesterday morning when Paula decided to take on the behemoth 7-11 and their “Free Slurpee” day. I’ve never heard of the phrase “chemical shitstorm”, but now that I have, I’ll never bring my kids to free slurpee day again. I went to get thirteen vials of blood taken for the tests that Oregon wants, and got updates of the Giving Room running out of watermelons because Paula decided to make it “Free Watermelon Lemonade Day”. Pictures of watermelons, messages of FOKers (Friends of Keri) showing up, and lots of jokes made the morning go quickly.

Then I went for the haircut.

My mom came with me along with Quinn and Morgan. I’m doing my best to make this not so scary, and Quinn was super excited because I told him he could cut my hair. He did the first cut, morgan did the second, then Raquel brought out the buzzers.

That’s when it got real.

But wouldn’t you know, suddenly a song came on the radio.

Mariah Carey.

Hero.

It’s a song I used to sing along with and pretend I was Mariah Carey. The lyrics are all about finding strength to carry on and how the hero lies in you.

I couldnt believe it.

Raquel said the music always seems to find you when you need it.

The buzzing began and I saw in my mind how I will look when I go totally short. It’s scary for me. But this cut will help me adjust until that moment.

I’m so lucky God sent Raquel to me. There isn’t a bigger heart in Riverhead.

My kids loved the cut, and we went to get Maddie. She was shocked when she came out of work but said she liked it. Rob said he thinks I look beautiful, and Joe rubbed my head for good luck.

Everyone on Facebook was super kind and helped me get through the evening shock of not feeling hair on my neck. Thank you.

I joked how now that I look like the singer Pink, I may quit my teaching job and learn how to be a silk scarf acrobat. Glitter in the air and all that good stuff.

We hadn’t been sure all day if we were going to have plans or not for the evening, but ended up staying home. We watched some YouTube guy whose job is to go to Disney and make videos about it. It was nice to escape reality a little.

Today is round three.

I’ll be meeting my oncologist and praying when she examines me that she feels the tumors are softer, then I’ll go sit in a chair for hours and hours as I visualize magic potion entering my veins and Rob puts socks filled with frozen blueberries and peas on my hands and feet and spoon feeds me ice chips.

Do I know how to party or what?

If you manage to get to the beach today, put your feet in the water and stop and pray for me. Something about the beach and water. Feel free to send me pics. I’ll be breathing and praying and pretending I’m there with you.

Tonight I’m hoping to spend the night with three women who have become soul sisters. My soul has become quite good at recognizing who has that tiny spark that will help me light my way, and these three women have full on flames of light.

Surround yourselves with goodness, it makes life beautiful.

I’m off to get ready, take the steroids and pre-meds needed, then heading to the deli to eat like I’m about to head to downtown Cortland, get a hug from my school’s main office at 8:30, then I am off to the hospital.

Three has always been my magic number.

May round three be magical.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

Everything is Exactly as it Should Be.

“Everything is exactly as it should be.”

I heard that yesterday while lying in shavasana pose, listening to a cello play softly, and holding Morgan’s hand.

My soul whispered back…

“Yes”.

I’ve always heard that once you give up trying to control things that you can’t control, but instead focus on how you react, you get peace.

Now I know what that means.

The first yoga class at The Giving Room was beautiful. People sighing, stretching, breathing, setting intentions, listening to poetry and a cellist. I’m so glad Morgan experienced it, and she thanked me on the way home.

I then went to a doctors office where a dear friend works and she got me right in to have all of the bloodwork that Oregon needs done written and put into an order. The doctor came in and talked about how he always tells people he never answers if they will be ok, because it’s in God’s hands. Then he looked at me, and said, “You’re going to be fine. I don’t know why I’m saying that, but I know.”

Then we met Rob for lunch, and wouldn’t you know, Oregon called to make sure we were still on for the Skype appointment. (I have to figure out how to set up a Skype account, so if anyone has any savvy, please inbox me.)

We picked up Quinn from golf and had a quick swim date with friends. Then I went to two more yoga classes. I was nauseaus, but I knew breathing through it would help.

And it did.

Kate has a warm, deep voice, and she has you do what you can and still feel like you are a yogi. That’s the thing about yoga and meditation, everyone thinks it’s so hard, but truly, it’s so easy.

Just breathe.

Its life changing.

I remember Saturday evening when I felt in my heart the boys in Thailand would start the rescue process and a thought came to me. I saw myself in the cave with the boys, breathing slowly and meditating. I thought that somehow, they were lucky to have been born in a place surrounded by monks, who focus on the breath. If the boys could learn how to control their breathing and stay calm, I knew they would make it out.

And they did.

All of them.

I read somewhere yesterday that their coach was a former monk. He taught them how to breathe to conserve energy and oxygen and stay calm.

This is why we should teach yoga and meditation to our kids. I breathed yesterday while my blood pressure was being taken and my friend said it was perfect. Religious people get all bent out of shape about yoga and that it’s wrong.

It’s not.

God gave us breath.

He also gives people wisdom on how to use it.

You can still do yoga and pray to Jesus as you breathe. In fact, I feel closest to Him while I lay in child’s pose.

I was still nauseaus in the evening but we wanted to take Joe on my dads boat. It was beautiful, and my dad called our old neighbor and told him about how we now have the son of a man who used to hang out with everyone living with us. I was texting names to his mom and she was saying the same names.

My mind is still blown.

I’ve been up since 4:30 or so, breathing.

I’m going to try and get all of the labwork done today, then I am heading to Raquel’s for phase two of the hair cut. It’s going much shorter today. I’m on day thirteen of the cycle, and they say days 18-21 is when it begins to fall out in clumps.

I’ll be breathing.

It’s also free slurpee day. We always tease my niece that we have 7-11 giving out free slurpees in honor of her birthday. So go have one and enjoy.

Just do me a favor and don’t take a straw. You won’t get brain freeze and you’ll help save the planet.

Win win.

Today may my veins be easy to find,

My hair look as cool as Pink’s,

The slurpees be plentiful,

And everything be exactly as it should be.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

Baseball Heaven

I think day four is rally day.

I got up and brought the girls to running, and walked two miles with one of my dearest friends Melissa and her daughter, who I had in kindergarten this year. I love seeing my kids. I love them all year long, summer comes, and these children I cared for every day are gone. Summer is great, don’t get me wrong, but having little hugs here and there are little bits of sunshine.

Then we came home, I brought maddie and her friend to work, and drove Quinn to golf camp. He was nervous, and I was too.

Morgan and I drove away and she had a crying moment in the car. She is such a happy girl, and this has all been a lot. I told her it’s good to let it out, then let it go. We went to my moms house because I was exhausted , and we watched The Office. Studies show laughter is good for healing, and that show makes us laugh.

Then we vacuumed the Jesus Jeep, ran and got Quinn, and I took a nap. I’m understanding the chemo fatigue term, and have a feeling that naps on day three and four will be my best friend.

My nephew Hunter was dropped off, we picked up Maddie and Rob, then went off to the All Star game. It was great. We met our summer son’s family, and now we see how he is such a great young man. I feel like they’ve always been a part of our lives, and his family said they feel like I am his soul sister/mother.

As we were talking, his dad and I were discussing my old hometown, Valley Stream. I told him the street I grew up on, and suddenly he mentioned a name. A name of a boy who lived across the street from me. Then another. Then another. Then he said the kids used to work on cars in a garage across the street from this friend.

It was MY house….

With MY dad.

“Big Al”.

I kid you not.

When I was a little girl, my dad had all the neighborhood teen boys hanging out in our backyard. It was a safe place and they learned all about cars from him. Somehow, years and years later, God whispers on my heart to take a boy for the summer into our home, and it turns out his dad was in my garage back in Valley Stream.

Isn’t God amazing?

Joe pitched great, and we took family photos after. His manager, Patti, got the whole team to sign a ball for Quinn, and Quinn asked her to sign the ball too. “There’s no crying in baseball” doesn’t mean a thing to me.

As we left the field, I heard my name, and when I looked?

A man who I went to elementary school and high school with was there. I love Anthony, and he was there with another friend, Marcello. I used to be the girl who cared about frizzy hair and looking good when I saw people I used to know. Now? I just soak up their hugs and love. They said I was doing great and to keep going.

It was a total Valley Stream night.

We came home and celebrated with dinner with Joe. Hunter slept over, and he said on the way home, “Aunt Keri, I know I dont really know Joe, but I feel like he is my best friend!”

He is that sweet.

Every day I’m thankful that I’m able to continue to have beautiful memories.

Today I’m bringing Morgan to yoga at the Giving Room at ten. There is going to be a cellist playing as we breathe.

My oncologist sent me another email joking about the colleges represented in a picture I sent her. She has such a good feeling about this.

So do I .

I am full of peace.

Yes, I’m scared not knowing how treatments will continue to affect me, what surgery will be presented… but there is a peace that has filled me again.

I’ll take it.

Today may everyone find peace and beauty in their lives. May whatever needs to be healed, heal with ease.

And may we all see how God works in our lives, because someone you meet today may come back to you years later at a place called Baseball Heaven.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

It Is Well With My Soul

I think I have a feeling what “chemo tired” means.

We went to church yesterday morning, just Rob and I . It had been a few weeks, I knew I would be emotional, and didn’t want the kids to see. I walked in and was immediately hugged and prayed over. The tears just fell as I felt the words whispered in my ear come into my heart.

That’s why you go to church, people.

I sat next to my Marguerite, and the sermon was about the Holy Spirit, and how to trust it when it enters you. The choir sang the song that I wrote about a few weeks ago, that was written by a man who lost so much, but still said, “It is well with my soul.” My friend who plays the organ said she chose that song for me and was hoping I would be in church that day.

Of course…❤️

Service ended and I got more hugs. I told Pastor how I now have a young man living with us because God told me we needed him. I didn’t know why, just that he was supposed to live with us. He whispers, I listen.

I think it shocked even Pastor how that seemed to have happen during this time of my life.

We came home and exhaustion hit.

I mean, when they say it’s like a hangover, it’s like a hangover from when you were in college.

Not just any college…

SUNY Cortland… 1990’s, after going to the City Limits, then the Dark Horse, grabbing pizza, then Woodys, doing the yard and then a mason jar of lemonade while eating popcorn from Finoch, then Frank and Mary’s.

That kind of night.

Lucky for me I had one of the special KFS drinks Paula made me. She said another family went to the Giving Room whose son is going through similar treatments and picked some up.

As much as I wish he didn’t need it, a part of me felt full of thankfulness that by being so open, the son of a man I used to work with years ago may get some comfort during some challenging days.

(You’ve got this, Dylan…🦋🙌🏻❤️)

It’s amazing how you meet people along your life timeline, and somehow, years later, your paths still connect.

Robs parents came over and hung out with us. I slept while they all talked, and then they helped rob make dinner. It was quiet and lovely, and I felt better sleeping knowing my kids and rob had them there.

As they were leaving, Joe came home. We saved a lobster for him, and Rob talked him through the way to eat a lobster. We are all so excited for his game today, and are hoping to finally meet his parents. His mom and I text often and we have a “momraderie” about this young man.

I’m tired still, but I’ve got things to do. I’m hoping to get a two mile walk in this morning while Maddie and Morgan go running. Then I’ve got to get Maddie to work along with a friend.

Rob signed up quinn last minute for a golf camp this week. It’s a good thing it was last minute, because his anticipation excitement yesterday would have been hard to handle for more than a day. Then we head to the All Star Game.

I’m here.

I’m thankful.

I’m blessed.

It is well with my soul.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

All Star

It was a good day yesterday too.

I woke up feeling well, and someone I went to high school with was in town. I hopped in the car with Morgan and my summer son Joe and off we went to the Giving Room.

I think one of the amazing things about Facebook is that you’ve already caught up on everyone’s lives, so when you see friends you haven’t seen in years, there’s no catching up to do.

You just simply hug and love each other.

Tracy introduced me to her friend, and Paula began her magic with Laura and the rest of the staff. Suddenly we were doing shots of all sorts of goodness, and the energy was full of light and love.

They left and we talked about how we were praying and manifesting for Joe to make the All Star Team. Paula said she would manifest it with us, and gave Joe a cup full of crystals. I left with specially made juices to help keep nauseau at bay, and we headed to home.

I took Joe to the Organic Earthworm where we have a CSA share. I told him I feel it’s one of my “in the veil” places, where I feel close to God. We got home, he made lunch, then walked over with a huge grin on his face and his phone.

He made the team.

We whooped and cheered and hugged and texted with his mom. I texted Paula and we both said, “Of course!”

He left, and I told maddie that since I was feeling ok, she could have some

Friends over. It’s been a hard summer for her, as she got the summer flu the hardest (besides me,) started work, and hasn’t hung out at all with anyone.

Your tribe is important.

So from 4-10 I had about seven teens eating pizza, swimming and laughing. It was good for her.

We had a fire, I prayed for the boys from Thailand, and went to bed.

I’m up and heading into a detox bath now.

I recorded my session with madame swoosh and let two moms listen to it, and was amazed by how spot on she was. At one point she said she saw me in the bathroom every morning feeling and looking all over for cancer and she said I have to stop.

After yesterday’s email when my oncologist asked me if I felt the tumors were smaller yet, it’s been hard to not constantly feel my breast. At my last appointment she was examining me while I was crying on the phone telling my mom she couldn’t react because my kids were with her, told her what was happening, chemo was starting but my doctor said she has hope, and my doctor was saying “cured” and nodding her head with her eyes lit up.

I hope her eyes light up this Thursday when she measures my breast again.

As of now I’m going to try to go to church. I have a headache, but I’m

Hoping it passes and I make it.

It’s been a while, and it’s important to get a little fellowship in person.

Plus, there are some people I need to

hug.

It’s going to be a beautiful day. May the boys and coach in Thailand all make it out of the caves safely with their guides.

May I feel well and be at ease and full of peace, as the medicine does magical things.

May we all learn that we are all here together, and when we begin to see the light in others, it’s easy to love them.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri