Field Day and Emails and a Sober Speakeasy

This is such a mental disease as well.

I dropped off my kids at lunch, went back to my room and had a banana. I finished more pills then had hot flashes. Took some excedrin migraine because a headache was starting and continued to drink water.


I ran to the bathroom in the room and got sick.

That’s when the panic attack happened and I started shaking and wondering if it was the liver crapping out on me. The phone rang and it was my assistant principal. She could tell right away I was having a tough time and came right down.

God always sends me the right people when I need them. She helped me breathe, I cried it out, said I want to live a long life, then I dried my face, took a deep breath, and we walked to the playground to get my kids.

All in about fifteen minutes.

I’ve gotten good at my game face.

We did all sorts of fun L day activities, then I dropped them off at gym and left for the hospital.

Some days I’m strong, and some days I’m not.

I sat in the waiting area where I go for labs and injections, and rob held my hand. I said to him I wished I could fly far far away. I wanted to be a bird that I saw outside the window. Just fly, and not worry about injections or port or petscans.

That’s when God sent me more people in the form of two of my favorite nurses. You become family with these people and it’s comforting, even as you get long needles stuck into your skin and have to do things to get the blood to come out of the port.

I got the hot packs and stuck them into my pants to ease the injection pain, then headed downstairs to my oncologist.

Everything was running late, but I dont mind, because I know that when I need extra time with her I get it. When she walked in she said it had been a hard day and I better be good. That’s when I had to tell her about throwing up and the liver pain. Unfortunately the labs weren’t back, so we couldn’t check my liver panels, but she did a physical exam and didn’t feel my liver edge. My breast also felt a little softer which was a bright spot.

It all comes down to the petscan.

I’ll get results by Wednesday next week, and if everything is stable or decreasing, we will order ASAP more of the same chemo.

If there is progression, I will then have an emergency appointment and go Thursday to discuss the next step. She is still thinking xeloda, and side effects are pretty nightmarish, with hand and foot issues and skin peeling off and women can’t even use Touch ID on their phones because they lose their fingerprints.

I had higher hopes of information coming from the ASCO conference, but nope. Even the monalisa breakthrough trial doesn’t seem to be one for me. She mentioned she is hoping I can hold until she goes to another conference where more information will be released on another trial she is looking at for me.

I didnt get the huge zoladex shot, and she asked me if I’ve gotten a period or any bleeding. I’m hoping the ovaries have finally shut down and I won’t need that shot anymore. Three is more than enough for me.

She finished our appointment and told me to stay as positive as I’ve been because it’s important. I also have to eat better and exercise more.

Rob and I left and came home to Digger Odell’s to eat. They have a great salad that is one of my favorites.

Once again God put people in my path, a man I used to work with and was robs good friend in high schoool, and another man I used to work with and now teaches music to my nieces. More healing hugs.

I came home and the kids stayed close by. My parents always get them on hospital days and my kids feel safe with them. I fell asleep off and on as they finished homework and played.

Then we all went to bed.

I actually slept a solid five hours last night, and haven’t done that in days.

I needed all of my energy for field day.

Field day.

A day when I throw on a smile and cheer on my kids as we do all sorts of activities. It’s like a kitten rodeo, getting them to focus while tons of parents scream and cheer and they run around a field.

It’s exhausting on a good day, so I’m glad it was a on Friday.

I’m looking into a peloton bike, and have some money still from the fundraiser. We’ve been very careful with it, saving it for emergencies, and now seems like a bit of an emergency.

Exercise is the missing piece, and it’s hard when joints hurt and exhaustion is constant. My brother rob said it’s changed his whole outlook on exercise. It’s worth a shot. This summer I hope to do walking with friends, yoga, and possibly this bike.

My brother said you can watch the video and feel like your riding the streets of Paris, or along the beaches of California.

That was my sign from God.

I had just wished to be like a bird, and fly far, far away. This could be the next closest thing to it.

I survived field day yesterday.

One would think after field day I would have been able to sleep.

But getting the oncologist labwork back with the results sent me for a loop.

Yes, I’m thankful my liver functions are still good, as are my white blood cell counts.

But the huge jump in the tumor markers is not good.

From 14.6 to 40.7.

The CA125 is actually a marker for ovarian cancer, and seeing her write that she has to take a close look now at my ovaries is what keeps a girl up all night.

The words of the genetic doctor who told me that due to some crazy rare mutation I have, multiple primary cancers were on their way repeated over and over all night long.

There was one little line of hope where my doctor wrote that it could be consistent with a great response or progression was the little light. I’m confused as to how sure a huge jump could mean a great response, but that’s what I’m holding onto until i get the results. My other tumor marker stayed in the same range, so it’s confusing.

Which is par for the course for me.

Field day was great and exhausting as usual. I was able to see Quinn’s class do the tug of war, and seeing him and his friends all jump up and hug each other when they won made my day. Kindergarten went straight through the whole morning, and we finished around 12:45.

When we went to take a picture for all of the parents, our gym coach dumped a huge bucket of water over my head.

The old me would have been embarrassed, but yesterday?

I laughed, told the parents I was just glad I had hair this year to worry about if it looked good, and smiled for the pictures. I love coach, and we have bonded a lot this year. He can dump a bucket of water over my head anytime.

A girl on fire always appreciates baptism with water.

I managed to see a little more of Quinn’s afternoon activities and saw a lot of parents who have become friends. I gave out a lot of cooling hugs with my wet shirt. Our school is so special, and we truly are a family, staff, students, families.

I came home exhausted planned to lay on the couch and rest, as I was exhausted from the hospital the day before and field day all day.

But then rob told me about my labwork, and he had to go to tennis with quinn.

I decided I wasnt going to sit home on the couch and let my mind take over, so I threw on a wig and a hat and went out to the Giving Rooms first “Sober Nignt”. Some may think that ansober night is for people in recovery from addiction. It could be.

But it could also be for people who can’t drink anymore due to medical

Issues or medications they are on,

or people who are trying to become healthier and have cut out alcohol,

or people who don’t drink for religious reasons, and people who want some awesome fruit juices served in fancy glasses.

It was their first night, and I was the first guest. It brought me back to my bartending days at Claudio’s seeing them muddle fruit and mint and using a shaker. Paula had me sample all of the offerings, and man… they were delicious.

Presentation changes everything, and I felt like I was in a speakeasy. We took our drinks outside to her stoop and laughed with other people who stopped by. She also has operation, cards against humanity, and plans on bringing out Twister one time.

Last night helped me hang onto the ledge.

Paula is trying to figure out which days would be best to have more, and we were thinking “Mocktail Mondays”, or Wednesday’s… or Friday but more of a happy hour. I know I’ll keep going to them. Socializing is important, and sometimes cancer takes that away because you don’t drink, or your too tired, or you feel sick.

This was perfect.

Sitting on a stoop, sipping a summer beverage and laughing while watching the world rush by was just what I needed.

I also saw video of a young man I’ve been praying for finally get to ring the bell after a year of chemo. His whole school came out and he rang the bell. I cried watching it, and will continue to pray for him as he now moves on to radiation. He has so much support, and that’s so important and beautiful.

I’m in a detox bath, trying to help my aches and pains.

Then I’ll get up and take my chemo and pills and potions, and go for a walk. The it’s laundry, house cleaning, and getting ready for our Joe to come

home. The kids are excited and it’s going to be a great summer. My friends amy and emily also took on Tomcats, and I’m looking forward to summer nights watching our Joe and getting to see friends.

My friend Donna invited me over this afternoon and I’m excited for that too. I may seem super busy, but I’ve made my world so small. I usually am just with rob, the kids, Paula and my parents if I’m not at work.

It’s a big beautiful world full of beautiful people.

Today may my aches lessen, my mind be still, my body be healed, and soul be at peace.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



“Cheers to great results coming my way”

Maybe it was better to be busy all weekend so my mind wasn’t focused on the scan or the hospital visit this week.

My dad organized a car show for East End Hospice and it was huge. Yesterday was “Survivors Day” in cancerland, and it was quite amazing to see dad, a survivor of three different lung cancers, prostate cancer, bladder cancer, and skin cancer running around, driving a cart, surrounded by grandkids, in his seventies.

Then I went to the Giving Room and got some juices for today and tomorrow. I actually worked a little and helped Paula get two juice cleanses ready. It felt good to give back, even a little.

I went to Good Food to treat Quinn and my nephew to empanadas, dropped off my nephew, then went to Costco. Then I picked up Morgan from a birthday party, unpacked my groceries, and took more pills. Rob and Maddie came home from a day of paintball and had a blast.

I did an extra blog post for Survivors Day. I know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have support from so many people. So i went through my pictures and posted some to honor the help I’ve received.

“Survivors Day” is a weird term for those of us in stage four island in Cancerland. It sounds celebratory, when there really is nothing to celebrate about when placed in stage four island. There is also Survivors guilt when you’ve lost so many other people so quickly from this stage four island. Why am I still here and they aren’t? There is also jealousy at those who are on the mainland, having been given lesser stages, and have been told the word “cured”. Don’t even get me started about the longing to wish to go back to “normal state” and be like so many others who didn’t ever have to think about Cancerland and live normal lives every day.

Stage four people aren’t labeled survivors because more often than not, the cancer will kill them. If I had a nickel for every time people said, “You really don’t know. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow” as a way of trying to make me feel better, I’d be rich. The thing is, that bus? Other people don’t ever think about the bus. Stage four people have the bus silently stalking them wherever they go, and it has their picture on the side of it, never out of sight. Going to the store? There’s the bus. Trying to sleep? There’s the bus. Hugging your kids? There’s the bus. Listening to the birds? There’s the bus. Some days the bus is down the block, some days the bus is creeping alongside to you, and some days you feel like Sandra Bullock in the movie Speed as it careens down the highway.

So we don’t use the word “Survivors “ in Cancerland on stage four island.

We use the word “Thrivers”.

Thriving DESPITE the diagnosis.

Doing our best to ignore the double decker bus and live our best lives.

Today I’ll teach all day, try and get into the garden and pull weeds with the kinders, then Madison has another concert tonight.

Our Tomcat Joe is pitching at three in the World Series for the NYIT Bears, and we are all sending him prayers and energy. Go Bears!

Today, may the bus be down the block, engine turned off, and lots of trees blocking my view of it.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



Survivors Day

Apparently, today is “Survivors Day” in Cancerland.

For me, every day is Survivor Day.

I’m not just surviving… I’m thriving.

It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been made easier by so many people.

So this post is dedicated to everyone who has held my hand, dried my tears, helped me breathe, made me laugh, and remembered to hold onto hope and faith.

It’s also dedicated to everyone I’ve lost. There are so many people I’ve met the past two and a half years who no longer are here to share in this day.

I think of them every day.

Especially Alycia.

So today, take a look at the path I’ve walked, and the people who have helped me put my “best foot forward”, as my principal always says.

May I have many more “Survivor Days” in my future.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



Flags, NYSMA, Tomcats and Bears, oh My!

I had planned a relaxing day yesterday, especially after having only gotten about three hours of sleep from scanxiety.

I started with a detox bath, when rob walked in and showed me his stomach. Where I had removed a teeny tiny tick a few days ago? A huge round red rash.

So I insisted he go to the doctor immediately, and that meant I had to drive to calverton for Quinn’s flag removal… and be ready in twenty minutes.

I got to the cemetery, we removed the flags and bundled them up, then I went to where my nan and pop are laid to rest. Wouldn’t you know, the police officer who ran the ceremony of cadets calling out my Poppas name was there. I was much more composed than last week so I went up to thank him. He remembered me and said he told the cadets about the how I was crying and thanked him. I told him there was more to the story, and explained how it was truly God’s timing that we arrived at that moment to hear poppas name called, that little miracles like that happen all the time since the diagnosis, and told him about my blog. He said he was about to cry, and asked for the name of the blog so he could tell the cadets. Maybe I was meant to take quinn again yesterday so I could see this officer, and someone he tells the story too needed to hear it.

I treated quinn to a bagel on the way home and saw a bunch of people I know in the store. It’s such a big little small town where I live, and although I knew I looked exhausted, it was still nice to see everyone.

Then I ran home, took some more pills, and got Morgan. We picked up my niece rachel so she could see what nyssma is like, and off we went to Mount Sinai high school. Once again we saw a ton of people we know, and it was so nice to see all of the kids and parents dedicated to music education.

We finished, went back to my parents to pick up my other two nieces and their dog, and then dropped them all off at my sisters house. My three nieces are hysterical. We call them our “sprites”, and their personalities are quite fun. We laughed and giggled all the way home.

Then I took more pills, had one hour to try and do the cleaning I wanted to do all day, then rob came home from work . We all hopped into his car and off we went to calverton for the Tomcats home opener. We weren’t sure if we would come home with a player or two, but Patti said people are stepping up and was so thankful. She may still need a home or two later, but she has some breathing room.

The Tomcats honored Detective Brian “Smiles” Simonsen, and it was humbling to hear his best friend talk about Brian’s personality and dedication. My Sister spoke as well, as did another officer. My friend karen, who was like a sister to him, was there with her girls. The number of people who loved him and are still trying to find their way through this new world without him is many. But they keep moving and breathing, and Brian would be so proud of them all.

Councilwoman Catherine Kent is was there as well. We taught together at Roanoke, and it’s always good to see her. She spent the morning cleaning up the LIRR train station and planting plants and flowers. Take a drive by and see what she and the others did. Little things like this matter. Then she was at the game, welcoming these players from all over the country to our town. It must be hard to be a council person, as you run for the position to make a difference in the town, but have to also spend hours and hours at events. Be mindful of that when commenting on articles. They all deserve our thanks.

The Tomcats won the game, but it felt weird not having our Joe there. We went to dinner at IHOP, and watched Joe’s team on robs phone as they opened up at the World Series. Joes mom and I were texting, and we sharing pictures. Joe pitches on Monday, and it’s a big game, as they lost last night and it’s double elimination.

You would think that after no sleep and a busy day would be enough to crash at night.


Two am.

The mind is proving to be powerful, as it is strong enough to wake me up to have me try to quiet it down. So the rest of the night was spent trying to not think about having to go to the hospital this Thursday after field day for injections and appointment, or next Monday for the scan.

I’m watching twitter closely as my doctor is at ASCO, a huge conference where they release new research and findings. Some big news hit yesterday about a drug that increases outcome survival by about 46 months.

Again, although promising…

We want years… not months.

My oncologist told me she would be networking and discussing my rare case and genetic mutation with others, seeing if there are any new promising clinical trials for me for the next steps.

Mutants like me are hard to treat.

Hence my mind keeping me up at two am.

Today rob and Madison are going to calverton for the big game, a once a year paintball war. Morgan has a birthday party all day, so I’ll be dropping her off and picking her up.

My dad is having a huge car show at the Jamesport brewery to benefit east end hospice all day. I’ll be bringing quinn and meeting my sprites, then hopefully running to the Giving Room for fresh juices, then food shopping, then resting.

Please put me on church prayer lists for the hospital this Thursday, as well as for healing.

May today be a day where I find some rest.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



A Kindershow for the Ages!

I ran the gamut of seeing parent pride yesterday.

Our kindergarten concert was about friendship, but we also had a surprise. Our principal is retiring, so we dedicated the whole show to him, spoke about the things he taught us, invited him to their high school graduation in 2031, danced, wiggled, and sang songs that made everyone laugh and cry.

We’ve been practicing for months in secret, and then all seven classes got together for the past week. We weren’t sure how the kids would react to a cafetorium packed with parents and grandparents, and prayed for no criers. There was a moment before we began where we told the parents that now was the photo opportunity, and I had to take a picture of the parents. They were adorable, beaming with excitement and pride and love.

The show started, we let the cat out of the bag and told everyone that our five and six year olds actually kept a secret for months that we dedicated this show to Mr Kent. We are so incredibly blessed to have him and Mrs Williams as our principal team. You can’t find two better people whose love for children guide their every decision while supporting the staff doing the work. We decided to put them front and center to save their dignity, because we didn’t want anyone else to see them if they cried. Even the kindergarten team said we all wouldn’t be able to look at them, and took deep breaths throughout the songs.

After the first song ended, there was a moment of silence, then a huge burst of applause and cheers. The energy was palpable. The kids looked shocked for a second, then ate… it… up.

They sang and danced their little hearts out, and the audience laughed, cheered, ooooohed, aaaaahed, sighed, and cried. It was better than we could have ever imagined.

What a memory we all received yesterday.

After the show, we had our outgoing PTO president purchase ice pops for every kindergartner as a treat. Angela Ohlbaum is another huge loss for our school, a mother who has worked tirelessly to make memories for all children. She has been our President for years, and her child is graduating. She will be remembered by this class as the woman who gave them ice pops, and when we asked the kids their favorite part of the show, they all said ….the ice pops.

Of course.

Last night I saw the other end of the parent pride spectrum. The high school had their award ceremony and I was once again surrounded by proud parents, beaming with excitement and love. I saw former students all grown up, walking on stage to receive their awards. It seemed like only yesterday these high schoolers were my kindergartners. Madison received awards for Latin and AP History. She continues to astound us with her drive and ability to thrive, even while we are in the midst of cancer treatment.

All of my kids are so strong, and I am so blessed.

Today we are performing the show one last time for the school, and it’s Friday.

Thank goodness. We have had strong storms and this weather is affecting my bones. (I’m declaring it is not cancer. It’s the heavy storms every night.)

A young girl I met in Florida who was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer at age 18 posted a video yesterday. She met my herbalist in Florida and began taking his teas. I sent her a video when she was struggling to get it down. (Yes, it is that hard to gulp a pouch of brown liquid that tastes like mud and herbs and dead worms). Britney has been on the herbs since February, and only took eight days of xeloda chemo pills because they made her sick. Her scans yesterday showed her brain tumor is gone.


She was crying happy tears and saying how it’s a miracle and she loves these Chinese herbs. It made my day to see this young girl so relieved.

So yes, yesterday was a good day.

May today bring more singing, laughter and healing. In Jesus’s name, amen.



I want to Age like Seaglass…

Freaking scanxiety.

As hard as I am working on it, it still shows up.

It showed up this weekend big time.

Last night?

Threw up once, woke up about seven times, cried to rob.

And I still have two weeks to go.

I think it’s because I’ve been blowing through treatments. Every three months for the last year I’ve had to go lay in a coffin like tube for an hour or so, wait two days, then hear where the cancer has continued to spread and start a new line of treatment with fun side effects.

All while gulping Chinese herbs, ninety pills a day, walking a mile every morning even while in pain, meditating, doing yoga, waking at 5:00 so I breathe highly oxygenated air while the birds sing, take detox baths, dry brush, drink organic juices, work on my vagus nerve, research fascia, see a Frenchwoman and a shaman, spend thousands of dollars on supplements, research new therapies day and night, read self help books to release trauma, and pray to Jesus.

What else can I do???

All while in pain in the bones and joints and questioning if the pain is side effects or cancer spreading…. while putting on a brave face because who wants to be around scared Keri? She’s no fun. What a downer.

The truth is there has been more cancer in more and more parts of the body. I may be doing too good of a job pretending everything is ok. I’ve been told the cancer is too sad for some to handle, so people have “ghosted” me. Which then makes me pretend even harder that I’m ok. I pretend for my children, my family, my community. But I also pretend because cancer has done enough damage, so screw you cancer.

You can’t steal my sunshine all day.

Just parts of it.

Yesterday after cello yoga i told Paula I was exhausted and she said I’ve used that word a lot.

It’s true.

Ask any teacher at the end of the year how they are doing and that’s the word they use.

Throw in everything else I’m doing and exhausted is an understatement.

A friend of mine recently said that living through stage four cancer treatments is like doing an Ironman race over and over, no time to catch your breath while being handed poisoned gatorade and it keeps moving the finish line to unknown locations.

Everyone is yelling different things.

“Keep going!”

“It’s all a mind game. Just THINK of finishing!”

“My aunt ran that race a few years ago and died. But you can do it.”

“Stop running. Be still and ask Jesus to save you. And if he doesn’t, that’s ok. I hear Heaven is nice!”

So I continue to read the bible and stories about Jesus giving healing to others in an instant, like the snap of Thanos’s fingers but in a good way. and doing my best to not get angry at one in the morning that He hasn’t chosen me.

Snap to it, Jesus.

Snap, snap.

I’ll also continue to get up every morning and live as long as I can, and hopefully the next scan will tell me I can get at least a three month reprieve from the cancer that has been marching throughout the body, staking claim to organs and bones and tissue.

That would be nice.

It seems as if many people I love are going through trials. Eileen and her daughter Johanna who just had another brain surgery. Nancy, who is sitting vigil beside her son Michaels bedside, who is a former fabulous firstie. He was burned eight years ago and she has been by his hospital bed ever since. Nancy has shown us all how to live and love through the unimaginable. I was a teacher in their lives for one year, but they have been all of our teachers for the past eight years.

I’m getting up and ready to put a smile on my face and teach. It’s easy when you love your job. Today we put the finishing touches on our kinderconcert. Then tonight we are going to Madison’s NJROTC awards banquet. It’s a beautiful night and everyone is excited.

This post may have come off leaving you sad or worried for me. Not my intention. It’s become my daily reality, and I’m ok. It’s good to get it out every once in a while.

Don’t sent pity or sad thoughts, because I need to raise my energy vibration.

Send love.

And also pray for healing for me, and peace as I try to breathe through the next two weeks of scanxiety.

My friend shared this seaglass poem yesterday. It brought me peace. I hope it brings you all some as well.

May we all have peace and healing.

And may we all age like seaglass.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



Memorial Day

I love my big/little small town.

As usual, it’s the small group of people that keep things going. Kind of like the heart that keeps beating… and shows the love.

We sure do know how to do the small town USA parade. It kicked off with the veterans, a small group of men who still walk with pride, followed by some patriotically dressed women. The greatest generation is getting smaller, and we owe so much to them.

They were followed by the politicians. I personally know and love two of them, Jodi Giglio and Catherine Kent. Politicians are known for kissing babies, but I also always get great hugs from them, and am so glad we’ve got these two big hearted women looking out for all of us.

The Riverhead High School NJROTC unit followed, and they are so impressive. I wish more kids took part in this unit. The experiences Madison has had have been amazing. Trips to colleges, competitions, education… all under the leadership of two amazing men. The sky is the limit with this organization, and the kids are better for it.

The marching band came next, and everyone loves a good band. The teacher leading them yesterday is one of the most passionate and talented teachers we have. The kids looked and sounded great.

Then we had all of the fire trucks and ambulances, all volunteers. These men and women are ready at a moments notice to help those in need. God bless every one of them.

The parade stopped several times to honor those who gave their lives. Garfield Longhorne in particular was bittersweet, as his mother recently passed at the age of 92. He received the Medal of Honor after giving his life by throwing himself over a grenade to save his friends during the Vietnam war. A true hero.

A funny story at the end of the parade made me laugh and was typical for me. I was videotaping the ceremony for my mom who was watching at home. Beaming with pride, I did a big circle and noticed my sister and about seven or eight other police officers standing and watching me. I smiled and waved and thought “How nice! I love our cops…”.

After a moment, I shut off my video and walked over to them to give hugs, and even get a selfie. My sister and another dear friend were like, “Geez Keri, could you have BEEN any closer to the guy with the eight inch knife on his belt???” Apparently they were watching him closely when suddenly I walked right next to him for a good spot to tape, smiling and waving. As if their awareness wasn’t high enough, here I come with my USA scarf and patriotic outfit, standing right next to the sketchy looking guy who thought it would be a good idea to walk around a parade with a huge knife sheathed in a case on his belt.

I told my sister and other friend that I recently had a shaman drag a bigger knife over my body, and I face death everyday, so it takes more than that to scare me. Plus, they all had my back, and we have the greatest police department full of amazing men and women. I love our police.

I then drove Madison and some of her NJROTC friends to another ceremony. It was at a retirement community and was so very sweet.

This event was run by one man who reminded me so much of my Poppa. My pop loved marching in Memorial Day parades as a veteran of WWII, and I felt close to him while watching the veterans stand behind Madison as she led the color guard. Poppa would be so proud.

By the time I came home I was pretty exhausted. I didn’t sleep much last night, as scanxiety is starting to build.

I’m off today, because we had an unused snow day. I’m heading to he Giving Room for ten o’clock class, and Paula has a cellist coming to play as we breathe and stretch. She also is giving out free smoothies in honor of Memorial Day.

Then I’ll come home and catch up on all the things I couldn’t do yesterday.

I’ve got a busy week coming up, with our kindergarten play, Madison’s NJROTC awards night, her academic awards night, Quinn’s tennis, and Morgan’s NYYSMA.

The following week is a hospital week for me, then the next week after that is the scan.

So today, I’ll breathe and listen to a cello play while visualizing clean scans.

May it be so.

In Jesus’s name, amen.