I wrote this breakup letter last year on this day.
Here you go…
I want to let you know I am breaking up with you. You’ve served your purpose, but it’s time I move on. I deserve more.
I loved my surgeon. Truly. When I found out I wasn’t a candidate for surgery, I was sad she would no longer be part of my team.
My first oncologist? The one who told me I would live only weeks or months or a year or two if it spread to my bone? I am now thankful for her. Had she not scared the crap out of me, I wouldn’t have questioned everything, researched countless hours in “Keri’s Cancer Crash Course College”. I wouldn’t have radically changed my diet and met Paula at the Giving Room. I wouldn’t have gotten over my foot issue and met Danielle at the Peaceful Scorpion. I wouldn’t have taken a chance and met a man who gave me hope and belief I am truly cured. So thank you, first oncologist. Your crappy bedside manner became my wake up call.
My new oncologist and nurse at the satellite Sloan? My new doctor is nice, and gave me a little more hope…but still gives me a funny look when I tell her I am already cured. I even made her feel my boob today to try and find my tumor, because I couldn’t just now. Plus, I gave her one last feel, for old time sake.
My nurse Sue was kind, and let me watch my kindergarten class dancing when she gave me my shot in my ass. It was a big needle. But watching them dance helped me get through it.
I am in pain right now. My arm, my ass, my spirit just a bit. I know I will have some pain in my new relationship, but I’ll take pain with a dose of hope any day.
So thank you Sloan, but I found someone else. Someone who doesn’t look at me like I’m crazy. Someone who makes me feel in every bone of my
body that I’m not crazy, but cured.
It’s not you, it’s me.
So keep doing the work you do, go see other people. Thank you for saving my Dad’s life with his six primary cancers. For that, I will always be grateful. (He is your original radical remission patient, if you would only open your western eyes and believe.)
I wish you love.