Every morning for the past two months or so there is a new notification for a secret group I ‘m in.

I’m in a lot of groups.

Some are scary, full of women crying out in fear, panic, telling of horrible side effects from the same exact medicine I’m on….with glimmers of hope when someone posts she has made it five years, ten years post diagnosis. (Those posts are why I stay).

But this one secret group? I learn something new every time, my heart becomes full of even more peace, my resolve becomes stronger, and my love grows greater.

For a woman living with a stage four diagnosis, that’s a miracle elixir to get through the day.

It’s a bible study. “Love God Greatly”.

We are gearing up to read about James.

Confession time? (And I’m not even a catholic…)

I had no clue about James.

I read this morning the introduction and I was all like…

“WHOOOOAAAA!!! Jesus had a half brother??? What the? I had no clue!”

I looked it up and different people people said different things. You would not believe the arguments on whether Mary stayed a Virgin her whole life, if James was Joseph’s son from a previous marriage…(and there are apparently other brothers and two sisters too!)

I skimmed through James and there are actually a lot of verses in there I already heard. This one struck me today.

“Faith without works is dead”.-James 2. 14:17

That’s what I’ve been doing this past year.

My faith has grown exponentially through the year. Faith in Jesus, faith in the process and protocols, faith in the healing I’ve received.

My works have also changed. I’ve worked hard to radically change my diet.

I mean, have you SEEN my juices? The only vegetable I ever had before was in liquid form…ketchup.

I’ve gone to classes, read books, talked to people, gone to therapies. It’s a full time job to get healthy. It’s not enough to GET healthy, now I have to STAY healthy.

Some people talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. They go hand in hand.

Don’t get confused that because you DO good things, good things will happen.

You have to BELIEVE as well.

Don’t just BELIEVE good things will happen, you have to DO good things also.

See what I mean?

Hand in hand.

You can’t just say that you’re going to heaven because you believe in Jesus and are saved. You have to act it too.

If you truly believe, then He is in your heart. When He is in your heart, you do good things.

Or something like that.

I’ll let you know if that right when the Bible study starts.

Today, I’ll keep drinking my vegetables and fruits, eat some organic nuts, drink more high PH water, take Chinese herbs, a spoonful of black seed oil, rub on Frankincense, chaga, sploosh, detox bath, bunch of supplements, medicine, breathe deep, meditate when I can, pray, shine my

Care Bear light, and try my best to be a reflection of Jesus and His love.

He has done so many miraculous things in my life.

Man, I love Him.

I’m also excited to get to know James.

“Hello James! Nice to meet you!”

I’m also going to teach kindergarten, do some laundry, drop off Maddie at a “hang out”, go to a movie night, and clean up… because I also have two other full time jobs of mom and teacher.

Today, may we have have faith and do good work in all of jobs, and throughout all of our days.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

When I transferred in to my college, I was an older student. I had stayed home for two years and received an Associates Degree at a local community college. Then I transferred into a State School.

It’s hard transferring in, as many friendships and bonds had already been formed, so I decided to live in a dorm.

I made some great friends there, and still talk to the girls I lived in the dorm with to this day.

One day while in Psychology class, a girl I never really talked to tapped me on the shoulder and said I should think about starting a sorority with her because I seemed like I was fun.

“The crazy in me sees and honors the crazy in you.”

That girl, Sharon, became one of my best friends. I said yes, I would love to be a founding sister, and working a few months, I had over ninety sisters on campus.

Phi Sigma Sigma changed my life. I teach in the same district as several sisters, one of my former students is now a sister, and my sisters surrounded me and helped me with a t-shirt campaign. One of my sisters is the one who helped with my logo, and another helped me find my current oncologist. Amazing.

I love all of my sisters, but I have a “core four”, four girls who have gone to weddings, celebrated births together, and have made sure to get together once every few years.

Sharon, Steph, Sarah, and Beth.

When I was diagnosed, they were my group messages girls. Sharon and Steph were with me on the day I got the call with the results from my brain scan, and it was all clear. We celebrated by getting some juices at The Giving Room and putting out feet in the water at the beach.

Then?

Somehow, in a twist of fate, Beth was diagnosed with cancer just a few months after me.

We were in shock.

I remember saying that maybe I was diagnosed before her to show her things to do and that life goes on.

That there is always hope.

To have faith.

She has been so strong, and I have admired her beauty, grace and strength. My girl can rock a shaved head with Smokey eyes!

I’ve been in prayer for her the last week, as she had a scan coming up. Yesterday, we received the news.

Total remission!

Praise Jesus, amen!

Amen! Amen!

We are already trying to decide on our celebratory get together.

I realized that the news came on my niece’s birthday, which is also the one year anniversary of meeting Dr Snuffleuffugus and having him agree to give me his herbs.

Last night, I received a new batch of herbs in the brown box that brings me joy every time I see it on my stoop.

I had my nighttime herbs and toasted to Beth, Brennan, and my one year anniversary of joyful herbs.

Three reasons to be grateful.

Today, may we all find three reasons to be grateful and raise a glass to celebrate.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

One a Phi Sigma Sigma,

Always a Phi Sigma Sigma

LITP💙💛🌹

Xoxo

Keri

I am going to give you all a peek at my logo. It’s not the totally finished product, as that one is in a Zip drive that my phone won’t open now. I woke up late, today is the last day of my 12th round of oral chemo, the frigid cold has decided to apparently make my bones think they are 75 instead of 45 years old, and I’ve got to draw on my brows. #fleek #aretheystraight?

I didn’t even think about a logo until it was given to me. It started with Michelle, excitedly asking me tons of questions when she offered to have her Momma ‘N Manila team create a logo. Color? Font? Shape? Pictures? Size?

Meanwhile, I was in shock I even started a blog, especially after spending all day cleaning my cabinets and pantry and showing all of my Facebook friends I may be a hoarder. (It is affectionately known now as “The Mug Post”.)

But here is where Jesus lead the way.

It came to me.

It’s has been forming the past year and I didn’t even know it.

I even painted part of it this year at one of those “Paint and sip” nights.

After some back and forth, Michelle, Beryl and Thea came up with the logo. It has everything I dreamed.

Let me break it down.

I wanted a circle for two reasons. The first is for His love, for it is never ending. The second is for the moon. The full moon shined a light for me on many nights when it seemed so dark.

I wanted a cross for Jesus, as He died on the cross for my sins, and I had declared Easter would be my healing day. If you look, there is a cross in the word “Faith”.

There is also a butterfly in the word “Faith”. Jen, one of my energy workers, told me that every time I see a butterfly, it’s the Holy Spirit showing me I am on the right path, and I am going to be ok. I had just met her, and it was after the week I took my picture at the butterfly wall at my hospital. I also feel that I have changed on this faith walk, like I’ve had a metamorphosis.

A butterfly is perfect.

I asked for three birds. Three has been my number. I was told by Jen that the red bird is my Nanny, the blue bird is my Poppa, and a woodpecker is my Uncle Larry. I changed the woodpecker color to yellow, to represent the yellow finches that came to visit me all summer. My friend Donna had brought me the bird feeder and it brought me peace and always made me smile.

I asked for the branch of the birds to have a heart or two, because love is all you need, which was a card I had gotten at my first meditation session.

If you look carefully, there are also three hidden Mickeys, one for each of my children, to represent our Disney trip. We had to cancel that trip three times, once for the hurricane, once for the cancer, and the third time was the charm.

As a nod to my calling, my profession, the background has a chalkboard look.

And the color?

Mint.

A former administrator that worked in my district has become a Facebook friend and supporter. He always writes that word from the 1990’s and it makes us all laugh. A little mintness goes a long way, and laughter is good for the immune system.

So, there you have it. I’m hoping to open the Zip drive later today. I’ve got to go gulp some pills and potions.

Today may we all find little things that show us and remind us of our blessings.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

One of the things that can overwhelm you when you are first diagnosed with cancer is the help. Everyone wants to help and asks what they can do for you. That leaves you scrambling and making more decisions while making other decisions on which doctor to use, food to eat, protocols to follow,

paperwork to fill out…

Then there is the open ended, “Let me know if you need anything,” which although sincere, has the onus of asking for help which is hard to do when you’re not used to asking.

For me, it was a matter of pride. I was the one always willing to help others, volunteering to assist. Remember that saying, “It is better to give than to receive?”

Yup.

That was me.

It was uncomfortable at first accepting help. I would say, “Thank you,” but not plan on asking, even if I needed it.

Pride goeth before the fall, right?

But then a social worker called to check on me and we discussed how I was overwhelmed with offers of help.

She said something that rang true.

“Keri, in order for people to feel good when they give, someone has to be willing to receive. By accepting their offers of help, you make them feel good, and in return, you will feel good.”

I’ve learned a lot about energy, and have learned that what she says is true. Have you ever been around a bunch of volunteers after a job is done? They usually end up smiling.

Smiling is good for the immune system. So is being around people with good, positive energy.

Those people are filled with white light.

As a Christian, we follow Jesus who helped everyone when here on Earth, and still helps us all today. In my darkest nights, He would shine the light for me.

My kids and I love the Harry Potter series. Albus Dumbledore said that in the darkest of times, one only has to shine the light.

Harry accepted help from his friends, especial Hermione and Ron. The power of three.

Then they were supported by all of their friends. “Dumbledore’s army”, they called themselves. I have an army too, because I finally learned to accept help.

Which brings me to my title of the blog today.

In college, I was a founding sister in a sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma. I ended up living in the sorority house in what can be called a small closet, sort of like Harry, come to think of it. In the main bedroom there were three other young women, all different as can be, yet we all clicked. We graduated, lost touch,

found Facebook, and now watch each other and love each other from afar.

One sister lives in the Philippines. She is a force of nature. Michelle has a blog, Momma ‘N Manila, and I see her as the Martha Stewart of the Philippines, but way cooler and more beautiful. She is an advocate for children with Down Syndrome, and is fierce about her love for family.

I know some pretty amazing people.

Anyway, when I mentioned a few days ago about starting a blog, she sent me a very excited message offering all kinds of help.

The old me would have said no.

The new me?

I gratefully and gracefully accepted her help.

She put me in touch with her team, Thea and Beryl. We’ve had a flurry of messages going back and forth. The challenging part is that we are on different sides of the planet. When I am waking up, they are going to bed. When I sleep, they work.

By the end of the day, after teaching kindergarten and being exhausted from being mom, attending a PTO meeting, and the medications that threw me into forced early menopause, I have a little magic.

Some light.

The women send me some thoughts, then I go to sleep. While I sleep, they work their magic. When I wake up, there are logos and banners made up for me that speak to my heart and soul.

They are my fairy godmothers in Manila.

They work while I sleep, and I feel like Sleeping Beauty, so blessed to have these three, (3!), women helping me.

When we finalize the logo, I will share it.

It’s beautiful.

Today, may we all offer help to those who need it, accept help if it is offered, and be the light for others, even when they sleep.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri

Those were the words and themes of the day yesterday.

I released the blog out into the big vast space called “the internet”. It was scary. I’ve written every single day about this journey and faith walk, and the people reading it have all been my friends, family, and people who I have accepted into my little world that were sent to me.

But the World Wide Web?

Would they be as kind?

It’s not some work of fiction, it’s my life. Every single piece of it. I put my life into words, and words have power.

Remember that saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me?”

Not true.

Names are words.

Words have power.

The words that would be written about my blog could make me feel horrible, which would be sooooo bad for my immune system. I would have to work hard to be all enlightened and just “Notice the feelings as if they were clouds drifting by. Choose how to feel. Use the force, Keri.”

Then I would have to figure out how to block comments.

Or, the words would be supportive, which would be great for my immune system. I would continue on this blogging thing that I truly don’t even have a clue what I am doing, and write for the next forty five years or so to help bring hope to those searching.

My words have power too. So many times I have been bombarded with questions, some even medical, after I throw out something I am doing. It’s been suggested I have a legal disclaimer on the blog, which means in my spare time, I draft to one up and show a lawyer. Everything I’ve done I’ve looked at, prayed over, and made a decision to do with the agreement of Rob. Don’t take my word for anything, in this case. See what I’ve done, research it on your own, and make your own decision.

This blog is more to show how I chose hope and Faith Over Fear. How I found Christ through cancer. How I went at it with EVERYTHING, and it left my body. The lessons Iearned, and shared along the way.

In Kindergarten we say, “Sharing is caring!”

I watched the Golden Globes after making a bunch of juices with Rob. Sundays are good days for us to juice, and we make a whole bunch to last at least three days.

The show was all about the inequality and abuse of power. How people in power not only use their money, and at times physical strength, but words as well. Words have power, and you can cut someone down so quickly with words. You can also say something and have it used against you, and one sentence can have your whole world turned upside down.

Sometimes the lack of words is powerful too.

“Silence Is Golden”

Silence is also deafening.

There were pins handed out that said, “It’s time”.

I believe we are at a moment that will become a movement for a lot of issues.

Gender equality.

Kindness.

Faith.

Hope.

Blending all different types of medicine and protocols to help eradicate diseases.

This blog has power, as words have power.

With great power comes great responsibility.

May we all use whatever power and words we have to bring forth faith, hope, joy, laughter and love to this great big beautiful world.

“It’s time.”

In Jesus’s name, amen.

I get asked this question a lot.

I  get overwhelmed with requests to share, or answer questions.

My friends held a benefit for me to help me with the expenses that you have when choosing to add alternative and holistic protocols.

Chinese herbs ain’t cheap.

I decided to type it all up into a booklet.

Remember, everyone is different. I am NOT a doctor. This is what worked for me. Everyone needs to figure out what will work for them and what feels right. Whats right for one goose may not be right for the gander.

That being said…

HOW KERI HEALED:

-We decided to do a blend of traditional Western medicine, Eastern medicine, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and relied on faith that Jesus would heal me. He put everyone in our path that we needed, and we listened to the whispers.

-We read the Bible.

-we read Radical Remission by Kelly Turner, Ph.D.

-The Truth About Cancer DVD series and Facebook page has a wealth of information. Ty Bollinger is a force of nature.

-Chris Wark, his “How Chris Beat Cancer” website, Facebook page and Square One modules are sources of knowledge and HOPE!

-Annie Appleseed project and conference. Her conference is every March and was inspirational.

-I tried to stay away from Google as they can’t keep up with all of the breakthroughs. When I did Google, I googled, “Stage four breast cancer radical remission”, or “Stage four cancer healed by Jesus”.

-I went through two oncologist and two different cancer centers in two months until I found one that saw me as a person, not a patient, and prescribed hope and not fear.

-I fasted from six at night until 11:30 or 12:00 the next day. I ate only organic fruit or nuts. Part of it was from shock and loss of appetite, and also I had been told fasting would be good. I still occasionally do a juice fast, or a twelve hour or longer fast. If you fast, be responsible. There are books and articles.

-I started juicing. Organic juices galore!

-I cut out all sugar, dairy, meat, bread, processed foods. I went whole food, plant based, almost vegan. Only organic food, and added turmeric and cur cumin,

-I detoxed with oil pulling, tongue scraping, and baths. I alternated between Epsom salt and organic baking soda. Some people do coffee enemas as well.

-I made the Budwig protocol every morning. (“SPLOOSH!” as my dear friend Alycia named it). I use six tablespoons of organic cottage cheese, three tablespoons of cold pressed organic flaxseed oil, then mix with a hand blender. I then add Manuka honey and organic cinnamon, organic berries, and some organic granola for crunch. Look up Johanna Budwig.

-Chaga mushroom tea. I also add Manuka honey to that, and cinnamon. You can drink it black, with lemon, mint. It has no real taste, and should be the color of maple syrup. I drink three cups a day and get my mushrooms from Chaga Island.

-Limit technology exposure. Turn off wifi and routers when not in use.

-I  drink high PH balanced water. Essentia is my water of choice. Cancer cannot grow in an alkaline environment. Look up “The Warburg effect.” I added organic lemon as well.

-What grass shots

-I asked everyone to pray for me. I spoke out loud not what I wanted to have happen, but as if it already happened. “I am healed. I am healthy and whole.”

-I trusted my gut.

-I am on targeted chemo, (Ibrance), letrozole, xgeva and zoladex injections. I am using a blend of western and alternative treatments.

-I added supplements. Calcium citrate. Vitamin D3. Probiotic. Some people do Vitamin C infusions too.

-Looked at Hay House for inspirational books.

-The Science of Miracles

-Oprah Super Soul Sunday

-Reiki, reflexology, meditation, yoga, energy workers.

-I bought a rebounder for lymphatic drainage.

-Dry brushing

-We are looking into infrared near and far saunas.

-Tried my best to eliminate stress.

-Chinese herbs

-Hugged, laughed, danced, forgave, loved.

There are so many miracles out there. We have two choices.

I  was told I was terminal.

The reality is that we are ALL terminal.

Either I could finish my life acting and believing they were right and my life would end sooner than later..

or I could act as if they were all wrong and I was right, and had many many many years ahead of me.

Either way, no matter what, what will be will be.

So I would either be a happy naive person choosing to live out my days with hope, or spend them shaking in fear and waiting to die. We all die someday.

The choice was easy.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

xoxo

Keri

Now, I know what all of you “non-believers’ may think of doing.

But don’t.

Don’t skip this post, don’t write it off as “Jesus freak” ramblings.

Read it with an open mind and heart.

As I’ve stated before, I was the poster child for Christmas/Easter and sit in the back of the church club. I went to Sunday school, and even went to Bible Study, but never “got it”.

I’m still getting it. I think our relationship is always evolving with Jesus.

It started with me crying out in the oncologist’s office. “Oh, Jesus!” When you call out to Him, He listens.

One night, I was in a dark place. I couldn’t breathe, I was lashing out at everyone. I was in my bathroom, I had just hung up on my parents, and fell to the floor, sobbing at the thought of dying and leaving my children and husband.

I remember crying out, “Heal me Jesus, Please, heal me Jesus.”

Then?

I went blind.

I literally couldn’t see.

My parents had rushed over, and helped me stand up and move to the bed. (The children were downstairs with Rob).  I  also wasn’t breathing, as I was frozen in fear.

I remember my mom over me telling me to breathe.

I started to breathe, my sight came back, and we all just laid on the bed and hugged.

Me, my mom, and my dad.

I cry now thinking about it.

I believe that night, Jesus healed me.

I  have been surrounded by people of faith. I’ve been anointed with oil three times. The first time, my friend Thud and his wife Emily came over. As soon as he walked in, he began telling me all about the story of Joshua. As we walked, we noticed the cup I had been drinking my Chaga tea out of had the Joshua 1:9 phrase on the rim.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Then? My brother Rob sent me a picture of a medallion he wore over his police vest.

On the medallion? Joshua 1:9.

Three times on the night I was anointed, I  heard the Joshua 1:9 verse.

The second time was with a family from my church. The father had also been healed from stage four cancer. He is an elder in my church, and he, his wife, and their son prayed over me as they anointed my head with oil. It was beautiful.

The third time was in my classroom. A woman I work with is very spiritual and anointed me during my lunch break. I work with several spiritual women, and I’ve been prayed over in offices and the hallway. It may be a public school, but I’ve felt Jesus at work.

I’ve listened to Joel Osteen, Steven Furtick, Max Lucado, T.D. Jakes. Joel Osteen’s mother, Dodie, had been diagnosed with metastatic liver cancer back in 1981 and is alive to this day, cancer free. All of these people have given sermons that have somehow touched my heart. Some may say to watch out for false preachers. I say if someone can bring you closer to Jesus, there is nothing false about that.

I was raised Lutheran, married a Catholic, but have become a Christian.

Some people are what I call “religion snobs”. If you aren’t what they are, you’re doing it wrong.

I  say, if you believe Jesus died for your sins, and if you’re loving people no matter what and forgiving others, you’re a good Christian. If  you are a different religion, I am willing to listen to what you believe, and to learn from you. If I believe we are all made by God, aren’t we all brothers and sisters?

There was a day this past summer that was so beautiful for me. I had just left a healing experience, and had felt Jesus and heard the God whisper. I had been saying, “I am healed”, but heard in response, “I’ve already healed you, ask for something bigger.” I then said, “I want to see my grandchildren grow up.” I heard, “You can see that from heaven.” I then said, “I am holding my grandchildren in my arms here on earth.” I started to repeat that over and over, and suddenly it switched.

It came to me to start to say, “I am ready and willing to do your will. Thy will be done.”

My sister-in-law Sandy had driven me, as we drove home I was telling her the story. Suddenly, as we drove past a peach tree orchard, I saw three nuns.

I looked at Sandy, she turned the car around, and said, “Go.”

I got out of the car and walked up the fence. The head nun came over and asked how she could help me.

I started to cry, and told her I  had been healed by Jesus from stage four cancer, and was having trouble believing in the miracle that had happened.

She held my hands through the fence, and said something about how God knows every bird that is in the sky, his eye is on the sparrow, he holds each one in his hand, and that we are like the birds, being held in his tender hands. To believe that He has performed the miracle I prayed for and was desperate to believe I had received.

Then we prayed the Lord’s Prayer together.

Well, she prayed, I sobbed.

It was one of the most beautiful moments of my spiritual life.

I  also heard about the miracle at Fatima several times. It is also called “The Miracle of the Sun”. It allegedly occurred on October 13 above a large crowd that had gathered in Portugal in response to a prophecy made by three shepherd children. The children had said the Virgin Mary would appear and perform miracles. Reports are that the sun zig zagged in the sky, careened towards earth, or emitted brilliant colors. The story came up several times during the past year, and on October 13th of this year, I found out that there would be a Fatima procession in my town. Wouldn’t you know, on that very day, a teacher I work with happened to give me a rosary she had gotten in Portugal at Fatima. I went with my children, Rob met us on the way, and we prayed. It was solemn and felt right.

I’ve made friends with a spiritual woman, Eileen, who writes the most beautiful blog about her faith. She wrote a book, Breathing Underwater, all about her journey while navigating her daughter’s health issues. I’ve met her in person and she has a light and peace about her that is full of grace.

I’ve been prayed for in churches all over the world. I’ve had pictures sent to me of candles lit in Lebanon, France, Germany, Italy, Ireland, England, Hawaii, Australia, South Africa, New York. My Aunt Jackie and Uncle Kenny are very involved in their church, and I    know that Emmanuel Lutheran has been praying as hard as my own church, Our redeemer Lutheran Church.

I’ve reconnected with two people from high school. One was a boy I cheered for when he played football and basketball. He was always so kind, and is now the minister at a college. He has eased my fears and answered my questions with kindness and compassion, all that you would ask from a spiritual leader. The other was a girl who ran in a different circle than I did, but is now married to a pastor in a church near me. I went  to thank her in person on Christmas Eve, and I felt such a connection to this woman, who is now my sister in Christ.

I  declared I would be healed by Easter. On Easter Sunday I went into church and my sister in law told me I looked different. I said it was because I was healed. I believed Jesus died for my sins, and he was healing me.

My PET scan was forty days after Easter. It is believed that on the fortieth day after His resurrection, Jesus took His disciples to the Mount of Olives, where they watched him ascend into Heaven. I believe that weekend was the weekend when I got the physical proof that the cancer was gone, and that Jesus had taken it up to Heaven.

This past fall, my appendix perforated. I ended up in the Burn Unit in the hospital, because of had to be kept isolated due to the fact I had been on chemo. They wouldn’t operate as my white blood cell count was low, so they hooked me up to an IV and there I stayed for days. I  couldn’t believe once again I was being tested. Thud and Emily came by and told me how gold is put into the fire, the impurities rise to the surface, and the gold comes out even more pure. Maybe I was in a time of fire, in the burn unit. It was decided I would have the appendix surgically removed once my strength was regained.

In the meantime, I went to see two energy workers. They both said there would be an issue during the surgery, but I would be ok. One woman said the Holy Spirit was with me always, and the other said I am directly connected to God. I actually felt full of what can only be explained as all consuming love when the energy healer from France worked over me. I later said it felt like Jesus was in me. It was an indescribable feeling.

The surgery came, and lo and behold, when I woke up, the surgeon said there was a little issue with my colon, and my intestine need to be cauterized. The pathology came back not only as healthy, but totally healed. Even my oncologist was amazed that there showed no signs of appendicitis.

Miracles and healing.

There’s so much more, but this is a blog, not a novel.

All I can say is that I wish for everyone to come to know and love Jesus as I have. He has been my saving grace, my friend, my savior, my King.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

xoxo

Keri

As I have mentioned before, I decided to hit all of the nine radical remission factors.

One was herbs and supplements.

In the book, Radical Remission by Kelly A. Turner, Ph.D, she has a whole chapter dedicated to this piece of the remission puzzle. As luck would have it, one of my former student’s mother knew Annie Appleseed, and also knew how to get in touch with a well known and reputable Chinese Herbalist.

Being a teacher has put some amazing children and moms in my life, that’s for sure.

At first, Rob and I were very hesitant. Rob didn’t want me to contact this herbalist.

But after many mornings holding me in the shower as I sobbed about the “weeks, months, maybe a year or two” prognosis the first oncologist gave me,  he said…

“Call the herbalist”.

So I did.

I  am not going to publish his name. Others do, and that is their right and decision.

I’m going to explain why I  choose not to write it or say it out loud.

When I called the number, a man answered and asked in broken English, “Who gave you this number?” He seemed hurried, annoyed even, until I told him I had stage four with bone metastasis. He replied, “Bone metastasis? that’s my specialty!”

He then told me he would meet me in one week, to not eat a lot because he would assess my energy, and to bring cash or checks.

He also told me to meet him in a parking lot.

I  then called my friend and asked if this was for real, and I felt like this was going to be like a scene from a bad drug deal movie.

She reassured me that it was going to be fine, and gave me the phone number of Annie Appleseed.

I  spoke to Ann and she told me not only about how honest this man was, how helpful he has been, and how it would all work, she also told me about the Budwig protocol she eats, her conference and her foundation.

One week later Rob and I found ourselves in a parking lot by a dumpster calling him to come meet us. He appeared, got into the car, and said, “Drive.”

I kid you not.

We went to a public place, he looked over my records, and took some notes. Then he held my wrists and took my pulse using three fingers. He knew that I had been put on an anti-depressant without me telling him, and he said my life force was being suppressed, and that I would to heal while on them. I agreed, and told him I would get off of them. He told me to find joy in life, not drugs. I never felt comfortable about going on them in the first place, and I weaned myself off easily.

He looked at my tongue, then asked if I was warm or cold. Apparently, traditional Chinese medicine believes that all of the energies in the body must be balanced to each other in order for there to be good health. the Yin must be balanced with the Yan.Your body needs both, neither is good or bad. If one is stronger than the other, there must be a balance achieved for good health. he asked me what I  ate, and gave me a whole list of foods I  should and should not be eating. He also told me that “Life is for living”, and to enjoy the occasional red wine, (not white, as that is too “cold” for me).

Eventually, he said the words we were told he says to those he agrees to help.

“I will help you.”

Rob and I cried in this public place.

I’ll never forget his kindness when he said, “No cry, Keri. you be OK. My herbs very powerful, not poison…powerful. You be OK….Give me your credit card.”

So we did.

We took a leap of faith on a stranger we met in a parking lot and gave him cash and a credit card and prayed his herbs would be powerful.

We believe they were.

I  take the packets three times a day, and my blood work is always pretty good. My side effects have been minimal. He said he is also helping my bones stay strong.

I  believe him.

I believe Jesus put that little boy in my class the year before, so that his mother could put this man in my life.

So why the secrecy? Why the “Dr. Snuffleufugus” name?

I don’t care that his name has been published, and is on websites.

I  care about me, and the people I have since sent to him, as there are many.

He is a man who meets people in secret, and doesn’t have an office.

There is a website that is keeping track of all of the holistic doctors who are mysteriously dying, or disappearing. I  do not want this man to ever be on that list.

I want this man to live a long, long, long life.

I gave him the name “Dr. Snuffleufugus” because on Sesame Street, Big Bird had a friend no one ever saw but him. Big Bird met him in an alleyway, and this kind, quiet, unassuming friend brought joy to Big Bird.

Joy is important.

“But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law”-Galatians 5:22-23

We must all find joy in life.

A wise Chinese man told me that once.

May we all find the joy we seek in life, in others, and in Christ.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

xoxo

Keri

When I was diagnosed, I did what everyone told me not to do.

I googled “Stage four breast cancer survival rates”.

A little piece of advice?

Don’t google, “Stage four survival rates” for ANYTHING.

Two reasons.

One reason is that the internet cannot keep up with all of the new advancements.

Another reason is you need to keep your mindset as positive as you can, and other people’s stories are not YOUR story.

My friend Maggie who introduced me to Annie Appleseed gave me a book, Radical Remission. The very same day, Rob’s client Jan gave him the very same book.

That, my friends, is called a “God wink”.

I got the message loud and clear, and Rob and I both started reading.

Friends, this book?

THIS book?

It gave me hope.

Hope beyond anything I dreamed.

It is written by a woman who studied over a thousand cases of radical remission, people who have defied a serious or even terminal cancer diagnosis with a complete reversal of the disease.  Kelly turner, Ph.D., wrote a book that became my lifeline.

She states that there are nine key factors that people exhibited who had experienced a radical remission:

-Radically changing your diet. CHECK! I  cut out sugar, alcohol, bread, dairy, meat and went all organic.

-Taking control of your health. CHECK! Rob and I became a team. We hired and fired oncologists. We researched best practices. We took the reins and ran with it.

-Following your intuition. CHECK! When I  didn’t feel hope at the first two oncologist offices, I ran. When I met my current oncologist, I just knew she was the one. Same with the diet, juicing, herbs etc. If it felt right, I  did it.

-Using herbs and supplements. CHECK! I    met one of the people written about in the book and have been using his herbs ever since. I also added supplements to my protocol to add to the healing process.

-Increase positive emotions. CHECK! I danced almost every day in my kindergarten classroom. I found joy in life. I    chose to not focus on the google statistics, but on the Godly promise. (Mark 11:24, Therefore I  tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.)

-Embracing social support. CHECK! My Facebook page was an enormous source of comfort and encouragement. My friends sold rubber bracelets with the words “laugh, dance, hug”, a local Saf T Swim had a fundraiser along with our former swim club, Islander Aquatics, Girl Scout Troops left gifts, Kait’s Angels gave us a memorable Christmas moment, and my friends threw me one heck of a benefit. (THAT is a whole other blog post!)

-Deepening your spiritual connection. CHECK! I have what I call a “Secret God Squad”. I call on my friend’s Thud, Emily, Claire and Corey when I am in spiritual need. I go to church and pray and am prayed for every Sunday. I asked everyone to put me on every prayer list out there. I have had candles lit for me in England, Australia, Ireland, South Africa, Germany, Lebanon, France, New York City, churches all over America. I have felt Jesus in my heart and body. Check! Check! Check! AMEN!

-Having strong reasons for living. CHECK! Rob, my three children, my family, my friends, my dog, my life.

*At a recent conference, I believe she has spoken of exercise, as well as energy work. CHECK! I’ve had energy work done with reflexology and reiki, as well as seen two energy  workers. I am lacking on the exercise, and that is my goal for this year. I    have a rebounder to improve my lymphatic drainage system, as well as a rowing machine. We are looking into infrared saunas too.

This book is a must have for anyone who has heard the word “cancer”.

Add to that the documentary HEAL. Paula at The Giving Room had a showing one night last month. I    sat there breathless. It was MY story. It is everything I have researched and done this past year all wrapped into one big ball of hope. One man? Healed his SPINE through thought alone. HIS SPINE, PEOPLE!!!! I    sat there eon the floor of the sacred healing space next to Rob and Paula and cried, nodded my head, at times was all like Oprah, “YASSSSS!”

Here is the thing.

If you think that something is impossible, you will never get it. Because you don’t believe.

Kind of like that Santa saying. “If you don’t believe, you don’t receive.”

Same with Jesus too.

I took it a step farther and not only believe it could happen, but after watching the movies “The Secret” and “The Science of Miracles”, I    acted as though it had already happened.

I went around saying “I am cured”.

The power of “I  AM…” statements cannot be denied.

Eventually it changed to “I am healed.” For a few reasons.

One was the word “cured” is a hot button in stage four. Many say there will never be a cure and can get quite nasty about it, as I    found out when a local news website wrote an article about me. (I  prayed for the nasty commenters and sent them love and light…and healed even more.)

The other reason was because in the Bible, Jesus never “cured” people…he “healed”.

Healing from cancer is so much more than physical. You need to do some serious healing in all aspects of your life.  The cancer came because something wasn’t going right in your life, which manifested in your body. As hokey as it sounds, it can be a great teacher if you are open to the lessons.

Some would say, “Fight! Kill it! F*ck cancer!”

I decided to be all “love and light”.

I would lay in bed, sending it love, imagining white light and cells going to the tumors. I    would hold my hand over the tumors and think, “Thank you for the lessons you have taught me. I’m all good. You can go now”, then visualize the tumors slowly fading and breaking apart.

I visualized the PET scan coming back clean and clear. I was careful with my words. I    didn’t say, “I  want the cancer gone”, because that would be speaking it into existence. I    would say, “I am healed, healthy and full of light and love”.

I’ll be honest.

When the PET scan came back five months after I was told I was stage four de novo (de novo is from the get go), I was nervous.

I  was alone in the house when the results were loaded on the patient portal. I    had some secret nurse friends that I sent the results to and we all cried.

There was no sign of cancer.

Yes, there were dead tumors, “cancer carcasses”, but no cancer.

I sent it to my oncologist, and on a holiday weekend, and she said to celebrate, as it looked like I had a “complete remission”.

She may not have said “radical remission”, but I’ll take it.

My dad had six primary cancers, and is still here.

I call him the “Original Radical Remission Man”.

We’ve always been surprised he hasn’t been studied.

They may say there are cancer genes, but I’ve got radical remission in my blood.

In Jesus’s name. amen.

xoxo

Keri

There are several camps in the “Cancer World”.

One believes that everything the doctor says is to be taken as gospel.

Got a pill you want me to take? GULP!

Got a shot you want me to have? OUCH!

Doctors are never to be questioned, and whatever they say, the patient will do.

Another camp throws all of that out the window.

Pills and shots? NEVER!

Chemo and radiation? POISON!

Herbs and fruits and vegetables! Eat ALL the organic!

Another camp says people are only healed by one thing.

Jesus? AMEN!

Now, when a doctor is sitting across from you telling you that you have stage four cancer, and no matter where you go, the protocol will all be the same because you’ve skipped all the other stages and went right to Stage Four, (Kind of like Monopoly when you pass Go, but not nearly as fun), you take ALL the shots and pills at that moment.

Give me all you’ve got.

You give in to the soul crushing fear you’ve been served on a platter, pull down your pants and get shots in the ass, roll up your sleeves and get shots in the arms, and then gag as you swallow the pills that have been prescribed.

Then you go home, cry it out, and decide what to do next.

Which camp do you join?

You never know until you’re told to choose a side.

I am lucky that I  have a husband who has researched and supported me and talked through everything.

We decided to make our own camp.

We call it the “Let’s do a little bit of everything with a whole lot of faith.”

Yup.

Jesus is my camp counselor.

He leads me to everything, I pray on it, and do whatever my gut tells me to do.

In a way I am lucky to have gotten the diagnosis now. Ibrance is a new targeted drug. Some women only are on it a short time, but others? I am in a private support group and a woman has been on it for five years, and was part of the initial study.  I take it every morning for twenty one days, then have seven days off. I’m on the highest dose you can get, and have minimal side effects compared to others. That’s the thing about cancer and medicine, every cancer and every body is different. I’m on this drug indefinitely. People are always confused when they hear I’m still taking medications.

Stage four means it’s out the gate.

The ship has sailed.

The barn door is open.

The cancer cells are floating around in the main body, no longer contained.

The stem cells of the cancer cells are like a drunken cowboy, riding around the body, looking to lasso some new friends to join the party. The oncology world says that eventually the body will adjust to the current protocol, and the shifty cancer cells will morph and become immune to the drugs, then start to grow again elsewhere. When that happens, it’s time to switch treatments.

I say that won’t happen to me, because all of the other natural stuff I’m doing is starving the cowboy. He is alone, in the desert, gasping for sugar and stress and sleep deprivation, but I’m saying, “Sorry, partner. There’s a new sheriff in town. Have you met my camp counselor, Jesus Christ?”

I  also take another pill, an estrogen blocker, as estrogen fed the cancer. I  imagine it as the soup nazi pill, like the guy from Seinfeld. “Hey Cancer, no hormones for you!”

I  am now on a three month schedule for two injections, Xgeva and Zolodex.

Xgeva is for the bones, to help strengthen them. It has a whole host of side effects, jaw necrosis being one of them. I’ve cut it back to once every three months, because I had some jaw pain, and my herbalist also told me he doesn’t want me to take it. For now, I compromise and straddle between Eastern and Western medicine. The nurse pinches my belly and sticks the needle in. I breathe and hold Rob’s hand and visualize Chinese herbs making my bones super strong.

The other injection is the big one, the one with the coils and spring loaded trigger. For a girl who is a needlephobe, seeing the ginormous needle with coils can be enough to make me want to run out of the room…every single time. To me,  it looks like a harpoon whale spear. The nurse again pinches whatever belly fat she can grab hold of, we count, and she inserts the harpoon. Then she pulls the trigger and releases the implant.

Then?

I catch my breath, usually cry, and stomp my feet in pain and disbelief that I am even in the chair getting these shots while Rob strokes my head.

Repeat every three months.

One time I had a nurse tell me he worked in the trauma unit and this shot was the biggest needle he has ever seen.

That made me feel badass, not gonna lie.

After the shots, I always pose by the butterfly quilt at the cancer center.  Butterflies are a sign to me of the Holy Spirit, and I  feel close to Jesus when I  stand there.

I  am grateful to those who are working hard to find the cure to cancer. I do wish that there wasn’t so much money to be made by pharmacological companies, and that there would be more studies on how nutrition and faith and herbs and all sorts of other therapies can work synergistically. Alas, you can’t patent faith, hope and organic food, so no money is to be made.

Stage four gets so little funding, because so many women die quickly.

That is changing.

I  am making sure of it.

I  plan on being the longest living stage four thriver ever, and am looking for others to join me.

Will it be because of the medicine? The diet? the herbs? The mindset? The faith?

I’m saying it’s because of it all, led by my camp counselor, Jesus Christ.

Coolest Counselor ever.

May we all soon find the cure for cancer for everyone,  especially children, so that no one has to have the ginormous needles and pills and medicine and side effects ever again.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

xoxo

Keri