One of the things that can overwhelm you when you are first diagnosed with cancer is the help. Everyone wants to help and asks what they can do for you. That leaves you scrambling and making more decisions while making other decisions on which doctor to use, food to eat, protocols to follow,
paperwork to fill out…
Then there is the open ended, “Let me know if you need anything,” which although sincere, has the onus of asking for help which is hard to do when you’re not used to asking.
For me, it was a matter of pride. I was the one always willing to help others, volunteering to assist. Remember that saying, “It is better to give than to receive?”
That was me.
It was uncomfortable at first accepting help. I would say, “Thank you,” but not plan on asking, even if I needed it.
Pride goeth before the fall, right?
But then a social worker called to check on me and we discussed how I was overwhelmed with offers of help.
She said something that rang true.
“Keri, in order for people to feel good when they give, someone has to be willing to receive. By accepting their offers of help, you make them feel good, and in return, you will feel good.”
I’ve learned a lot about energy, and have learned that what she says is true. Have you ever been around a bunch of volunteers after a job is done? They usually end up smiling.
Smiling is good for the immune system. So is being around people with good, positive energy.
Those people are filled with white light.
As a Christian, we follow Jesus who helped everyone when here on Earth, and still helps us all today. In my darkest nights, He would shine the light for me.
My kids and I love the Harry Potter series. Albus Dumbledore said that in the darkest of times, one only has to shine the light.
Harry accepted help from his friends, especial Hermione and Ron. The power of three.
Then they were supported by all of their friends. “Dumbledore’s army”, they called themselves. I have an army too, because I finally learned to accept help.
Which brings me to my title of the blog today.
In college, I was a founding sister in a sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma. I ended up living in the sorority house in what can be called a small closet, sort of like Harry, come to think of it. In the main bedroom there were three other young women, all different as can be, yet we all clicked. We graduated, lost touch,
found Facebook, and now watch each other and love each other from afar.
One sister lives in the Philippines. She is a force of nature. Michelle has a blog, Momma ‘N Manila, and I see her as the Martha Stewart of the Philippines, but way cooler and more beautiful. She is an advocate for children with Down Syndrome, and is fierce about her love for family.
I know some pretty amazing people.
Anyway, when I mentioned a few days ago about starting a blog, she sent me a very excited message offering all kinds of help.
The old me would have said no.
The new me?
I gratefully and gracefully accepted her help.
She put me in touch with her team, Thea and Beryl. We’ve had a flurry of messages going back and forth. The challenging part is that we are on different sides of the planet. When I am waking up, they are going to bed. When I sleep, they work.
By the end of the day, after teaching kindergarten and being exhausted from being mom, attending a PTO meeting, and the medications that threw me into forced early menopause, I have a little magic.
The women send me some thoughts, then I go to sleep. While I sleep, they work their magic. When I wake up, there are logos and banners made up for me that speak to my heart and soul.
They are my fairy godmothers in Manila.
They work while I sleep, and I feel like Sleeping Beauty, so blessed to have these three, (3!), women helping me.
When we finalize the logo, I will share it.
Today, may we all offer help to those who need it, accept help if it is offered, and be the light for others, even when they sleep.
In Jesus’s name, amen.