Losing your hair doesn’t get easier the second time around. This time is different, as last time it mostly would come out in the shower, and it was slow. I had time to get haircuts to make it a slow progression. Yesterday? It kept coming out in clumps whenever I ran my hand through my hair. I spent five minutes in the faculty room pulling out the loose hair so it wouldn’t come out in front of the kids after lunch. I’m afraid to look at my pillow this morning. I don’t know if I’ll do a big beach gathering with a hair shaving ceremony this time. It may just be me and rob and the kids. Or I may decide to have a fire in the fire pit and open it up to whoever. We will see when and what I want to do.
Yesterday my heart was so full and happy at school. Every single kindergartner got their hands dirty and our garden is finished. I can’t explain what it meant to see all their little hands pulling weeds and planting mums. Everyone is so excited. When you make school a place where you show them how to make it beautiful and feel like home, you will have happier children. I have framed family pictures of their families presented on a cubby like a fireplace mantle display. Happier children learn better. This makes teachers happier and can be free to do more. Do whatever you can to make where you work a happy place.
It won’t be work anymore.
Today I start my fasting. No food until Saturday or so. Time to get my healthy cells exhausted and drained and have the cancer cells go rave and ramp up so they can go to town on the chemo tomorrow. I’ll go for the echocardiogram at 9, then chemo at 1 or so. Feel free to join me in a fast. Water, tea, broths… you can reset your system too. Intermittent fasting is being shown to have many healthy benefits.
My friend Eileen Benthel is in the hospital with her daughter Johanna again. This is her 100 something brain and head surgery. She has finally gotten a go fund me going. Please keep them in your prayers and consider donating even ten dollars if you don’t have much to spare, and then give thanks to God YOU weren’t given that mountain to move.
Here is the link to donate…
I also saw an article yesterday about a boy who got hurt in the playground at a school in NYC, and went to his school nurse. She checked his records, then gave him an ice pack for his injury…. and then the gardisil shot and talked to him about sexual diseases. She had called the mother to tell her about the initial playground injury, but did not tell her giving about the vaccine. She only found out when she saw the bandaid and asked her child what happened. The department of education is looking into this.
Sounds crazy, right?
There is bill up for vote in January to allow this to happen all over New York. There are studies coming out soon that gardisil affects the ability to conceive in some later in life. Population control is not far fetched. I’ve already raised my voice and let my legislature know I’m against this. The religious exemption was a trial run. Now they are bringing out the big guns. They are going to make it mandatory. I’ve had countless people tell me they refused it for their children. Doctors, nurses, very educated people. Guess what? If you don’t give it to your child, they won’t be allowed in school like the religious anti-vaccers you’ve all been so quiet about. “I’ll smack anyone who gives my kid a shot without telling me” is just words. You all better wake … up.
It was never ever about herd mentality . It’s about money. Governor cuomo received millions of dollars for New York from Merck pharmaceuticals the day after the religious exemption vote. The democrats were bought out and then sold out the lives and education and freedoms of 26,000 children. Their plan worked. Those kids are now at home, being home schooled, or getting an insane amount of shots in a time frame no one knows is safe while getting side effects and sick.
Now? They are coming for everyone’s children.
Are you over the age of 35? Guess what? You have less vaccinations than a six month old. Think about that.
You aren’t up to date either. Are you going in to the doctor and asking for more shots? Hell, most of you refuse the flu vaccine.
Oh, that is in a bill for January to become mandatory too.
This guy Brad is a real gem. Now he wants another bill released. Ever hear of HIPPA? He is throwing it out the window. He wants your kid’s private medical records released… so the PTO mom boards can create witch hunts and further ostracize these people.
Remember when the Jews were hidden in attics, and people turned them in to the nazis? I bet Brad would have taken the money, shouted out where they were then patted himself on the back as he filled his pockets.
In other news, MetUp had a very small group of protesters outside of Susan G Komen headquarters yesterday. Did Komen talk to them? Nope. They called the police four times on them. They didn’t like the truck they had parked on the sidewalk painted with the fact they were telling the truth about how Komen only gives 19% to research while saying and trademarking “….for a cure”.
Komen came after me and the article. Why? Because maybe people are waking up and realizing they aren’t taking the opportunity to make a bigger difference. Which means less donations are coming in for their accountants to move around and put the bulk in “awareness and education”.
It’s all about money.
I have many friends going to Washington DC to protest and fight for more funding this week. I was asked to go, but I’ve got chemo tomorrow. There will be a “die in”, where 116 people will lay down to signify the 116 lives that will be stolen from metastatic breast cancer that day. My friend Melanie Zuhoski stopped by yesterday for ribbons to bring and hand out. She will be taking part in the die in. I talked to her and prepared her for emotions it will bring up, and showed her how to swipe off the death energy when she finishes laying in my place. I’ll cover her with prayers and energy as well. We sat and I told her more of my story. She is the president of the North Fork Breast Health Coalition, one of the few organizations I support. She is having the organization begin to learn more about stage four.
I’m so glad.
Stage four needs more.
Take us out of the corner, out of the shadows. We are all holding candles in the corner for sparks of light to give each other and for vigils for our dying and dead friends all around us. Stop looking at us with fear, and take our candles.
Make a fucking fire.
Burn the false pink narrative and pink shirts.
Make it so big the light from the fire shines on all of us in the corner, and then give us water and do all you can to keep us alive.
Walk through fire for us… because we are walking through fire every damn day.
We are dying for a cure, and need allies. It’s so hard to advocate for yourself when you are dying. It’s so hard to advocate for yourself when you are going through constant treatment. It’s so hard to advocate for yourself and open your life up so others may live someday because you shared your pain.
Be an ally.
Demand organizations like Susan G Komen and the American Cancer Society do more by finding more research.
Donate to Metavivor.
Yahoo had an article by Glamour magazine on the metavivor colors.
Don’t wait for the person going through treatment to ask for help. Just do it. Give the hug, say the prayer, sit in silence and just let them cry, go to protests, write letters and emails and support bills for more funding…
Because one day, you will be here too, or someone you know and love.
Don’t wait until the game is over to get off the sidelines and try to help win the game.
Let’s make pink just a color, not a false representation of a cure or treatment to make it chronic. That isn’t here and won’t come until the brilliant scientists and researchers get the funding they need.
These are the most used hashtags i use. Some day I’ll add #researchsavedmylife.
In Jesus’s name, amen.
One thought on “Losing hair and Light the Fire”
I’m reading your blog everyday and am becoming more educated about vaccinations ( I didn’t give my kids the gardisal vaccine ) They are in their 20’s now. It’s a scary vaccine) and I’m telling everyone I know about how stage four needs more and we all need to “light a fucking fire”
You continue to amaze and inspire me and I pray for you and your family everyday! God bless you and may all the angels and saints surround you tomorrow and every day
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