I went to the hospital Thursday. It started out rough.
Rob found out his aunt passed away, and I spent ten minutes in the car with Quinn who was crying and saying he felt “weird”.
Hospital days are hard on him, and he gets anxious and can’t explain it.
But when he brings his stuffed animal into the car and hugs it all the way to school, I know.
We practice breathing, I hold his hand, we talk about the good things, and I remind him I’m doing ok, and even though it may be scary to think of mommy going in and getting shots, I’m doing ok, and we have a Chinese man and a man in Oregon and a French woman and a brilliant doctor and compassionate nurses and Jesus all helping us out.
Then I managed to get him into school, and I went to his teacher and cried and got hugs.
I texted my parents and rob, cleaned up my face, and got ready to start my day.
That was all by 8:00 am.
I taught all morning, wrote the script for a show with another teacher that our kinders are doing, ran to my parents to drop off Quinn’s stuffed animal so he had it when he was picked up, then went home.
My friend Paula came and dropped off some juices and we had lunch together. We looked at some of my new books and it kept my mind busy as I waited for rob.
Some were recommended by my friend Juli at “Knead and Seed”, and one was recommended by a teacher who prayed over me last week with another teacher and principal. That was amazing, and I’ve never been prayed over before like that.
Then it was time to go to the hospital.
Everything went well.
My port worked, I got the injection in the belly for the bones and the two in the lower back/buttocks for hormone suppression,(“Fassy is the Assy”).
My doctor sent in her fellow to meet me. She said Dr Stopeck and Hermina love me, and said she should meet me because I’m an interesting case.
She asked me about my research, knew about my Annie Apppleseed conference and wrote it down, took pictures of my “Vital Strategies in Cancer” book that I’m reading to share, and Donnie’s and Snuffleuffugus names. I told her about Jane Maclellands book “How to Starve cancer”, the “Radical Remission” book, and “Hope Never Dies” by Rick Shapiro. I told her all about Donnie Yance and the Mederi Center, and how Donnie and Dr Snuffleuffugus are helping my body stay strong. She also looked up my blog. She asked if she could examine me and I told her I always let people feel my breast if they want so they know what a tumor feels like, even a dead one. Maybe I’m also teaching future oncologists as well. Every medical school should have patient interaction practicals where they can sit and talk with patients about how we are supporting ourselves through treatment.
Dr Stopeck came in and said I look great. We laughed and joked about juices, and spoke about a big conference she is heading to soon.
We are also scheduling a MRI/PET scan for June 10. The tumor markers are rising, which is always hard to see.
However, I’ve been banging a gong and shouting for years against standardized testing that our students are more than a score.
I am more than a cancer marker number.
My right leg went a little dead, as the liquid as it is injected or needle could have touched a nerve, so I was dragging a leg a bit at Morgan’s junior honor society induction.
But I was AT the induction…
Because I ‘m counting UP.
Onward and upward, friends.
My next appointment for injections is June 6, field day. I’ll scream all morning for my kinders then head out for the last appointments of the day.
This past week was difficult where I work as well. We’ve had a lot of heartache and anger and disgust. My district was in the news for something we never ever EVER imagined would be in the realm of possibility.
In times of like these, people either pile on and make the fire burn bigger and hotter and spread…
Or people walk into the fire and say, “I’m here. I am with you. Here, have some water. We’re going to make it through.”
Those people are especially important when children and young adults are involved and are discussing what has happened.
Morgan was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. It was a beautiful night and I saw so many former students.
I saw a lot of my district administration at Morgan’s ceremony. I went up and talked to them all after the celebration.
Listen, let me be very clear.
Everyone may not agree at all times.
But they love this town and the kids in it.
It’s been a week for them too, and now they have had a lot more work thrust upon them and a situation they never dreamed would ever be in the scope of reality, while also dealing with their own feelings of shock and anger and disgust.
Social media can be brutal, and everyone is taking a beating, and I am sending prayers of love, guidance, wisdom and strength to everyone.
I wouldn’t want to be them right now.
It’s been a week.
A total roller coaster of a week.
But it’s now in the past, and today is a new day.
I’m staying where my feet are.
Madison took her first AP exam in Physics, and she studied right up until ten pm Thursday night. “Four or more” is the rallying cry I made up for her and her friends. I had a bunch of them come and study last weekend at my house. They needed a quiet place to focus after all of the news they had heard. Maddie feels confident she may have gotten a four or five.
I’ve got a busy day, and lots of prayers in my heart.
Especially for Madisons ROTC unit that will be holding their heads up high at a competition, and showing other schools what our district REALLY is all about.
Prayers for a former student and his mother, who have been in my heart since he was in my class many years ago.
Prayers for my friend Alycia’s children and mother who will have their first Mother’s Day without her.
And prayers for everyone reading this. May you all know the love of Jesus and have it fill your heart.
In Jesus’s name, amen.