My Squad is Bigger than Dorothy’s

Last night?

We celebrated.

I taught all day, then drove Quinn to tennis. While he was playing, he lost a tooth. I still make a big deal out of it, and he was excited.

We went to Art in Action afterwards, and man, do our art teachers bust their butts for this event. They make sure every child has a piece showcased, either an individual project or a group project. Then they have one day to display it all for the community. The growth in talent as you move through the hallways from primary to high school always amazes me. It’s like with the concerts, four years earlier kids squeaked out “Old MadDonald

Had a Farm”, and suddenly they are moving my soul as they play in high

School with the beauty.

The arts make the world better, and in turn, makes us better.

I got home at 7:15 and we decided to go out to eat pizza. Then we treated the kids to ice cream, and brought some to my parents as well.

We celebrated maddie taking her two AP exams. We celebrated Morgan’s concert. We celebrated Quinn passing his board of review in Boy Scouts and becoming an official tenderfoot, as well as art in action and his tooth.

We celebrated robs work on the North Fork Community Theatre, and laughed and laughed as we told my parents about the show, “The Drowsy Chaperone”. My kids repeated lines that had us all laughing. We want to go see it again, it was that good!

On the inside, I celebrated the emotional and spiritual work I did this week. I took a leap of faith and went to the therapist/shaman. There was a part of the “ceremony” where she took out a ceremonial knife and approached me. When I told that part of the story to my friends, they all were in shock that I didnt run out of the room.

But I wasn’t afraid.

I’ve been facing death every day since the diagnosis, and decided I would do whatever it takes to heal, even if it included a knife being dragged over certain parts of the body to cut cords of attachment to things that don’t serve me.

I’m reading a book by Joe Dispenza, “You are the Placebo”, all on the power of the mind. You can’t just THINK yourself better.

You have to FEEL yourself better.

Thinking and believing is definitely the first step. If you don’t believe you can get better and heal, then you won’t. But if you do, you start the process.

I said to maddie and her friends if they didn’t believe they would get a 5 on these tests, they wouldn’t. We worked and worked on mindset, and both times she got into the car after the tests she told me that she thinks she actually got a five.


But then the hard work comes in.

You have to act as if it has already happened.

That’s where I’ve been struggling, especially when I’ve felt pain in certain parts of the body. Lately it’s been my shoulder, breast and legs, as well as my lungs have felt tighter.

However, I’ve shifted since Wednesday.

The worry that was constant has lifted.

I drove around last night and felt like “Keri” again.

I walked around the high school and realized I had been out of the house at that point for eleven hours and still felt good.

Think about that.

I taught kindergarten all day, drove to tennis lessons, went to the art show, after having been out the previous two nights, and having spent the day in the city and traveling on Wednesday, all while on my fifth line of constant chemo treatment in two and a half years.

And I keep saying I’ve had cancer for two and a half years, but really, it was there before diagnosis. I had a mammogram at forty, and “nothing” was there, but obviously was there and too early to tell. At forty three it was stage four. So it’s been growing and there probably for six years, I’ve only known about it for two and a half.

That already makes me an outlier.

The odds are now in my favor.

I keep thinking how I’ve now added a shaman to my team.

It’s pretty amazing if you think about it.

It’s like a movie.

“A typical mom is diagnosed with cancer, and along the healing path she meets a mysterious Chinese potion maker, a former monk turned master of all knowledge about herbs and food, a French energetic healer who swooshes energy, a rockstar oncologist who believes in hope, a juice bar/yoga studio owner turned sister, a peaceful scorpion master of touch and massage, a reiki and yoga certification, a chaga mushroom purveyor, a shaman, and Jesus.”

I always loved Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, but my squad is bigger.

Today I’m taking my kids to a yoga class. I know I can teach them myself, but I dont want to teach. I want to experience and practice.

I’ll clean out my Jeep finally, and work on all of the things i didn’t do on Mother’s Day, which is really a day where everything just gets puts off.

My summer son Joe had an amazing game yesterday and we are getting closer to having him come home to us. We are all getting excited.

He is such a good boy, and we love his family.

Today I’ll keep working on raising my vibration and feel the healing, instead of worrying about the other possibilities.

May all of our energy rise, rise to the point of where the magic happens.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



One thought on “My Squad is Bigger than Dorothy’s

  1. Bless you and your family as you through your cancer. You are a woman of faith and may it bring healing to your body and spirit.


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