Birds and signs.
Yesterday I wrote on my Facebook page about the rough night I had, and the long talks with God I had asking for signs. Do I go with the even more aggressive chemo plan which ultimately gives me less chemo sessions? Is this chemo even the right one? If the cancer has flipped, it could make it eventually even stronger.
When I woke up, I got my answer in the form of a Facebook post written by Patricia Polacco about how her mom defied odds, had the same chemo drugs as me, and miracles happen if you believe. It was sent to me by someone I haven’t seen since sixth grade.
We all stayed in comfy clothes yesterday. I actually did pretty well, other than port soreness.
Maddie spent hours on her summer homework assignment. I so strongly disagree with that, by the way. I dont care that she is in advanced classes. Those kids work so hard all year, then most get jobs in the summer. Let’s add on homework during vacation so their stress level never gets lower, so we can really prep them for the real world, because you’re never too young to be treated like an adult, right?
The other two helped me with laundry and stayed in pajamas all day as well. Rob worked on his paperwork and drawings. I looked at classroom bulletin boards and new curriculum. It stinks that it rained most of the weekend, but it made it easier for me to not feel so bad my kids did nothing while watching me recuperate.
By the time dinner rolled around, I rallied. Rob and I worked together and made dinner, and the sun finally peeked out. As we worked, a red bird flew by our window. I felt called the beach, and everyone got changed to go see the sunset.
I texted my dad to see if he wanted to meet us, and he replied my aunt was out and to stop by. We were going to head right to my parents, but instead, I felt we should go to the beach first.
It’s because another sign was waiting for me.
When we pulled into the parking lot, I saw it.
You see, 67 weeks ago, (I know because Instagram kept track), I had a rough day. I went to the beach, and a woman with two parrots was there. It meant something to me, as I had been recently told that I am surrounded by angel wings, and when I see birds, know those are my angels telling me I’m doing ok. I even took a picture of the birds.
I never saw them again…
Until last night.
The day after I spent all night asking for signs that I’m still on His path. I practically ran out of the car before Rob stopped it. The kids came over with me and we talked to the owner of the parrots. I asked for another picture, and she said I could hold one. I declined, as I just had surgery and am nervous around birds. Maddie stayed back as well, but I got a picture with Morgan and quinn.
I felt more peace as we left the beach.
We saw my aunt and uncle, my mom saw my port for the first time, then we treated the kids to ice cream.
I slept a little better last night, and plan to head into my classroom today. Morgan and Quinn will help me carry things in, and I’ll start to make my list of what I still need to do.
I’m doing my best to remember that all the children need the first week of kindergarten is to play, have fun, make friends, learn routines, and feel safe and loved. Everything else can wait.
Today is also a day where more emails will be sent, appointments made, and more healing will happen.
Today may I continue to feel peace and heal, and follow the path He has planned for me.
In Jesus’s name, amen.