Don’t be a Raisin, be a Grape.

“Don’t be a Raisin… Be a Grape.”

I spent the day yesterday in an energy workshop. Through all of my research, I’ve learned that there are multiple ways of healing…traditional medicine, emotional, spiritual, nutritional, and energetic. This post is going to be long, but you’re going to learn a lot. Get a cup of coffee and get ready…

Before I start, I’m going to acknowledge that some Christians are very uncomfortable with some of this talk. Dharma, chakras, spirit… I believe that Jesus is my ultimate healer. When they talked about spirit, I thought of the Holy spirit. It was all based on love and light, and the Bible is a living breathing story about how we are supposed to be stewards of love and light.


So I was comfortable there.

One of the first exercises we did was resetting our energy channels. Everyone may have heard about your chakras. When energy gets stuck in one of the chakras, dis-ease builds up. They say when women have pain or feel hurt or give too much and don’t care for themselves, it hurts their heart. What is over their heart?


Breast cancer grew over my left breast.

The teacher showed us our meridians and where our chakras were, and then how to clear them. We were shown how to go in a counterclockwise movement and pull out bad energy and throw it to the earth, then close the chakra in a clockwise motion. We reset at night when we sleep, but this is a great way to clear yourself of bad energy whenever you need it. Maybe you had a bad day at work. When you get outside, reset.

It hit me when she started demonstrating and swooshing over her body…I had this done before.

Madame Voila Swooosh, in the basement before the appendix surgery. She was so intuitive to reading energy, she knew exactly where there were tumors without me telling her, feelings that I had that were hurting me, warned me about trying to help others by taking their pain and in turn hurting myself with the burden, and how connected to God I had become. Yesterday’s teacher said that we can do it whenever we want, and how even better it is to do it outside.

Lots of connection to nature and trees and water and sky and fire.

Then we learned about our own energy field. Our energy goes one arm length all around our body. I learned about the eight and ninth chakras as well. When we are outside we can push our energy and it goes a little further. We learned about how to pull it down over us and protect ourselves, as well as how to enclose someone else in it.

(Always with permission…

Or else that’s sorcery and a whole different issue and intention. Intention is everything.)

We practiced on partners and my partner told me that when she was in my protective bubble, something changed.

She felt white light and warmth and safe, and she also felt when I lifted it off of her. When she placed me in hers, it felt similar, but not as strong as she described to me. It was pretty amazing.

We switched partners again and practiced feeling feelings, then touching our partner on the shoulder.

The three feelings were…

“I want to help you. How can I help you?”

“I’m so sad for you. It’s so horrible.

I’m so so so sorry.”

“How can I be of service?”

I was “touched” first, and the help touch was warm.

The sad and pity touch made everything feel sad and dark, and the service touch felt like white light.

When it was my time to touch, my partner realized I didnt really do the pity touch and understood.

You see, when I was diagnosed, the pity and sad looks crushed me.


I kept telling people to stop saying they were sorry. Even yesterday, after spending all day trying to protect my energy, I ran into someone I haven’t seen since the diagnosis. She meant well, but started tearing up and said how sorry she was and was so sad for me. I felt the darkness and sadness coming and quick brought down my bubble of light. You all know it and feel it. When you are around angry people, you become angry. Look at our society.

The angry mob affect.

Then go to church.

The peace affect.

That’s all energy.

Then we switched and did another powerful exercise. I’m glad I had paula as my partner for that one. We learned how to disrupt someone’s energy flow in their body. It was wild. I’m not telling you how to do it, but it’s scientifically and energetically possible. Some say it’s witchcraft-like. Magic. If you use it for evil, yes.

But it was important to learn how to build up the strength back. And you were definitely stronger when you finished getting energy and meridians fortified.

The last exercise was resetting our fight or flight mechanism.

We as a society are in an almost constant panic mode. The news, jobs, stress. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Fight or flight was meant for us to know how to outrun danger. In nature, a gazelle will be chased by a cheetah,

and bound across the water.

The cheetah doesn’t like water so it stops the chase and paces across the riverbank. The gazelle will shake violently for a moment, essentially shaking off the fear, then calmly graze in the meadow at the rivers edge while the cheetah still paces in its view.

The danger may still be in sight, but not a danger in the moment.


We have the news and technology and even jobs getting us into constant fight or flight.

Even in school, lockdowns, intruder drills, walkouts. The safe space has been taken from our children.

When we unplug and go to the beach or the woods, our body resets and gets calmer.

Scientific fact.

Yesterday I learned how to reset a heart to the state of calm. I’ve been given permission to practice on others. It’s actually quite lovely.

When it was done to me, I didn’t even realize my partner had lifted her hands off of me.

I sat with the teacher during the lunch break and showed her a book my mom had given me. She said she wanted to talk to me.

She said that when I told her the night before that I wanted to get rid of the tumors when I prayed and put the stick into the fire, I needed to learn something first.

The tumors came to teach.

What was not right in my life?

I told her I knew that, and have become a very different person than I was two years ago. I told her about the first oncologist and how I remember floating out of my body, hearing a whizzing and my whole energy field was vibrating hard. I remembered I left and started to float above my body, then realized my mom and dad behind me and saw Robs shocked face next to me. I said to myself I had to go back into my body and show them that the story the doctor just told wasn’t going to be my story. The teacher said that my out of body moment was a beautiful gift my mind and soul gave me. I was able to leave my body when it was being given a death sentence, and then come back with a new downloaded story. A story where I told myself the things the doctor was telling me wasn’t my story, and mine was going to be different.

And it was a gift.

The teacher shocked me next.

She said some people call what she does Witchery or sorcery, those who don’t understand it.

But some doctors?

They practice white coat witchcraft. People will feel perfectly healthy walking into an appointment, have a few words spoken over them…then walk out feeling sick, and become sicker.

It’s true.

I’ve seen it.

That’s why some people are told they have stage four cancer when they feel healthy and then suddenly become sicker and sicker and go home to die… and some people are told they have stage four and say…”That’s not my story.

I dont like the story you are writing about my life.

I’m throwing it out.”

I told the teacher about the mouse dream I had before I was told the cancer was awake again. The mice in the snow cave wall waking up and moving and digging. I knew that meant it was awake, and when the PET scan came back a month later, I wasn’t surprised. She said that I was right, but also said that mice and rats are amazing. They can get into tiny little spaces and when they do, they dig and scratch and claw out all the crap. If you ever look at the space where mice live,

It’s neat and is clean. The mice were white in my dream.

White blood cells.

The mice were working and clawing out the cancer cells. I told her how I had tried to learn to accept that my oncologist said the tumors may stay there and never disappear. She said that’s “stinking thinking”, and I was buying into the oncological story for me, the map doctors had for my life. Throw that out.

Maybe it came back because I needed to keep digging to see what I had to fix even more in my life, and then rid myself of all the tumors and circulating stem cancer cells, then live a long life.

That’s the story I’m writing.

So why did I name this post “Don’t be a Raisin, be a grape?”

She explained to us how important it is to drink water. The only difference between a Raisin and a grape is hydration.

If you’ve ever tried to put a grape into a fork, it’s hard. You try to stick it, but it rolls around.

A raisin however, is easy.

You can stick a fork into it easily, bend it in half, mold it however you want.

That’s how energy affects us.

When we fill our bodies with water, we feel better and are healthier. I’m going to add that when we fill our souls with faith and joy and love and light, nothing can penetrate us.

Don’t be a raisin.

Be a grape.

We ended with the teacher telling us that the moment we think we can help someone with a specific issue, back away.

That’s not our job.

Back up, and instead of trying to fix the thing that needs fixing, just send out love and light everywhere and to everything.

Isn’t that perfect?

Isn’t that what the Bible tells us our one job is while here on earth?

Love one another.

It’s not your job to judge, that’s your ego.

Just… be… love.

Be the vessel and allow His light and love to shine through you.

Totally empty yourself to Him, so He can fill you up so much with His light and love that there is no room for anything else.

I’m exhausted, as are the kids. We are going to stay home today and pray over a quiet breakfast. I need to rest and refill myself… then maybe take off my shoes and hug a tree.

And drink lots of water.

Today…Don’t be a raisin, all shriveled up, dark, easily squeezed.

Be a big, plump, juicy, bright grape, impenetrable to anyone trying to pierce your soul.

In Jesus’s name, amen.




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