It’s been a few days since I’ve blogged. My Facebook friend all know what’s been going on.
The cancer has woken up again.
I had a whirlwind day of shock, devastation, different options presented…
And the opportunity to enter into a trial.
I’m choosing the trial.
If I can do something now to help people become healed in the future, I’ll do it.
Telling my kids for the second time that there is cancer awake in the body is something that wasn’t easier the second time around.
I had to wait a few days to see if I would be considered for the trial.
Yesterday, on the first day of spring…
In the day we noticed that the bulbs we planted with santa and my dad at Christmas have popped up out of the ground…
I got the news I’ve been accepted, as long as I pass the EKG.
My heart is strong.
So is my faith.
My energy worker said that there is this thing called retrograde, and the cancer had to wake up in order to be completely healed.
She also predicted I would be admitted into the study.
I would hit remission and be completely healed.
And I would be written about in trials.
I’m going with her.
Jesus also has plans for me.
I’m going with Him.
Here is my entry from Facebook today.
You’re all caught up.
In a nutshell… it’s awake.
I’m changing my diet and adding leafy greens and cruciferous vegetables at every meal.
I’m adding to my team a nutritionist and adjunctive therapies targeted specifically for me.
I’m going to hit remission in three months.
I’m making history again.
I’m patient X.
The first patient accepted into the trial at the hospital. They’ve denied several. Phase one was successful, so they’ve expanded the trial into nine hospital nationwide and have 135 slots.
I felt like Charlie from Willy Wonka.
I’ve got the golden ticket…
I still have to pass the EKG test. They also want me to wait before starting because my counts were really low. My oncologist is stuck in Barcelona because of the snow, so we are holding off my bloodwork until Monday…
When there is another possible storm.
I cant even.
I have a snow day today, and another one probably tomorrow. If we get this other storm, there goes spring break.
It stinks, and I cant help but think that everyone who feels like something is being taken away and is so upset, they get a small taste of what it’s like being told you have cancer.
“But I had PLANS, damnit!!!”
“Sorry, cancel your plans. Your fun plans have now changed.”
Except my plans were to live a carefree long life, and now it’s all needles and specific food and supplements and adjunctive therapies and trials.
I found comfort that I was told about being accepted on my terms for the trial on the first day of spring.
My friend jen had to cancel my energy healing session, as her daughter was sick. But she had told me two days ago not to worry, she felt I would get into the trial, hit remission again, and be written about for results. God gives people gifts and uses them as vessels. She is one.
I explained to my kids that God didn’t only speak to the people who lived long ago and are written about in the Bible. He is still alive, still speaking to us… we just have to listen.
I went to BJs to get extra greens for the storm, and a man that worked there was staring at me at the produce aisle. He struck up a conversation about produce, and when I said I was looking for organic, he said, “Oh, you’re a fancy person?”
It’s time for people to realize that it’s a crime for the fruit and vegetables we eat are sprayed with chemicals that may make the fruit last longer, but kills us quicker. So i told him I was rediagnosed, and the organic food is saving my life.
He got serious, then came right up to my face and began to talk about faith and God. Suddenly this man who had moments earlier tried hitting on me became a man who prayed over me.
He even found me later in a different aisle with a psalm he pulled up on his phone about how Jesus is with the broken-hearted. I showed him my necklace and told him I was strong and courageous because Jesus.
BJ in Bjs wholesale club.
When we finished, he looked embarrassed and like he didn’t know what just happened. I did.
The Holy Spirit was with us.
That’s how it works.
Where two or more are gathered in my name with open hearts…
Even in Bjs wholesale club while there is a run on milk and bread… or organic vegetables.
Maddie was already up this morning, so I’m up because I had to go tell her while she was in the shower that school is closed. I hope we get the call tonight about tomorrow.
Today may we all stay safe and warm, and may all of our first responders and doctors and nurses be safe and warm…
May all of the cells in my body be healed completely, as I spend the day watching white snow and visualizing white light entering every cell.
In Jesus’s name, amen.”