Styled by Target, Hope by Stopeck

Yesterday was a comeback day, with a bit of a setback. Two steps forward, one step back, right?

My kids have become very aware of finances, and always say, “Don’t spend that, I dont need that.” It makes me proud and breaks my heart at the same time.

So when Morgan asked for some nice clothes Sunday night, I said to myself that no matter what, I would get up and take her shopping.

So yesterday I got myself up, didn’t take any of the nausea meds because I didnt want to be sleepy, got her up, and off we went.

I treated her to breakfast and we saw her old softball coach who we just adore. He is a policeman in town and one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. We laughed and I showed him my bald head pics and wigs and got lots of hugs. I just love that guy.

Then we hit Target.

I had originally planned to go to Tanger, but to be honest, the thought of store hopping was overwhelming. Plus, finding clothes that weren’t belly midriff showing and appropriate was a big concern. As soon as we walked into Target, we found classic and stylish clothes for her.

I know.


Take all my money if she can look like a thirteen year old girl instead of an eighteen year old. She picked out a bunch of outfits, and I asked her if she was ok with just Target clothes, and no name brand.

She said she was. And once again I was so proud of her.

Then we went to the eyelash section and I tried to figure out which eyelashes to buy. Mine are starting to fall out, so that will be the next hurdle I jump.

After Target, I decided to treat her to get her nails done. I also decided to splurge, and spoke to the woman who owns the salon about my summer with my feet and the chemo. I had sheets of skin coming off my feet, and my nails were a wreck. I’m not one to treat myself for nail polish or a manicure, but shaving your head makes you want to make something look nice elsewhere. As we talked, two young women chimed in and told me about a great wig site. Next thing I knew, one of the girls comes back into the store with two lace front wigs and just gives them to me. She said she has tons, and wanted me to have them. Her name is bunnii, and turns out she knows someone I know.

That’s how amazing this town is.

I went in for nails and came out with two more wig looks.

I dropped off Morgan, then ran to johannas little art show at her house. Eileen and I laughed when she didn’t recognize me at all and asked me for my name. My wigs are that good! It was a sweet display of Johannas art, and I held her hands and told her I am praying for her everyday.

I came home and called Stony Brook. I was put in touch with a woman who can guide me to raise money for my oncologist. She said they rely on a lot of grassroots fundraisers, as they are connected to the hospital and their major fundraising has to get divided up. We spoke about how other big name national organizations don’t give nearly enough to research as well. We discussed how I handle the baldness and chemo with my kindergarten, and she suggested i write a children’s book to help children understand it better when an adult goes through chemo.

All of the proceeds could be donated to my doctor. Stay tuned….

Then I crashed.

I printed out the death benefit paperwork but just couldn’t fill it out. I’ll try again today.

My sister jill has two friends who have decided to host a fundraiser next Thursday at a restaurant in Southold. Originally they wanted to donate to metavivor, but it’s been switched to benefit my oncologist and her research. She has so many things in development, and if I can help her to help me, along with others…

Could we use the money ourselves?


But God will always provide for us, and it feels soooooo good and right to pass on the blessings and help with the bigger picture.

So thank you to everyone who will be going to Jeni’s place next Thursday in southold between 5-9 for a $30 spaghetti dinner. I’ll be going as soon as I get out of the hospital. It’s my third heavy chemo infusion day. I can think of no better way to spend the evening surrounded by people who want to help my doctor prolong or even save my life.

I’m up now, as that seems to be the case with this latest round of chemo. Two a.m. comes and I’m up.

I’m praying for friends who are grieving and still mourning the loss of their son, as well as for justice. I’m praying for all of my friends with health issues. I’m praying for the Susan G Komen foundation. They’ve announced a special fund specifically for metastatic which is a start, but not nearly enough. I’m praying they simply switch the amount of research donations and education and awareness donations. Fund stage four research.


I’ll be at work today.

I don’t have to go to work, as I have some sick days still.

I GET to go to work.

I really do love it, and can’t wait to start to really get into the meat and bones of teaching, now that our routines are pretty much set up. September is hard in kindergarten. We are starting to flow, and I love it.

Today may we all find the easy flow we need to get through our day.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



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