The Bus and Freedom and Finishing the Hike

Remember how people always say you can get hit by a bus at any time when you tell them you’ve been given a terminal diagnosis?

Then you tell them the bus actually has your face on the side and follows you everywhere?

Well yesterday, the bus hit me. It wasn’t fatal, just a sideswipe, enough to knock me on my ass all day long and feel like I’d just been hit by a bus.

The nausea, even with the compazine and zofran, reminded me of when I was pregnant. Constant.


And the taste in my mouth makes me want to puke all day too. Nothing tastes good.and everything leaves an aftertaste.

Even water.

But I still drank all day like it was my job in between sleeping and sweating.

Did I mention bone pain? I’m now adding Claritin and Tylenol to my list to help with the bone pain that comes from the neulasta shot, which is forcing my baby white cells to mature quickly. You all know that commercial, where the people look peaceful because they didn’t have to go back to the hospital the day after chemo.

Those commercials all suck.

I turn them off whenever they come on.

We all kind of hibernated. Quinn is coming down with a cold, which could be dangerous for me. He took an hour long bath and slept with rob during some nap time we all took. The girls kept checking on me and getting me water or an apple as I needed it.

I caught quinn staring at me a lot, and I know they are all worried. I’m praying this lasts for a short stretch, then I bounce back. I managed to get down the herbal teas and pills as well. It’s hard on a good day.

Pretty brutal on a rough day.

I also spent time looking at the chemo hair loss pages on Instagram to prepare myself again. I never fully lost all of the hair last summer, but apparently this one is the one that leaves you bald like an egg. I’ve been following Selma Blair, and she is showing such bravery through her hair loss.

I’ve done it once, but that doesn’t mean it will be easier the second time.

I had really hoped to be better by today, as it’s an important day for Quinn’s Troop. Today they finish the hike that they couldn’t finish last year because of a drunk driver… who still hasn’t been brought to justice. This man started drinking at 9:30 am, had several people offer to drive him or take his keys, and he still got behind the wheel. He then hit several scouts who were well supervised and hiking on a trail. One of them, a twelve year old boy, was killed.

He looks so much like Quinn. As I’ve read his mother’s posts and looked at her flashbacks, they are almost like the same kid. I cannot grasp the grief of losing a child, but just the thought takes my breath away.

So today, one year later, they are finishing the hike. We have to see how Quinn is when he wakes up, but rob and madison plan on going, as she knows two of the other scouts who were also hit by the drunk. If you are free, go to shoreham wading river high school, make a donation to the Andrew McMorris Foundarion, and say a prayer for peace… and justice.

I am also praying for so many parents on their way to Albany today to fight for their child’s right to attend school. It’s not about vaccinations, people. There is a bill now in place to force gardisil on every teen. A flu shot on everyone. Albany and Cuomo received $48 million-the day before this past bill was passed. Truth. It’s about money. Plain and simple. And once the bill is passed, the company is no longer held accountable for any complications or injuries. Think about that. They are going to force you to get your child a shot and then not be held accountable for anything that comes of it. Money and power rule this world. These parents today are fighting for you all and the fight you will have in three months. They deserve our support. It’s about freedom.

Pray for my healing as well.

I’m hoping to start my comeback today, which means I’ll know how many days I have to take off per cycle. We are overwhelmed at the sharing of the fundraiser. We’ve got now three months of supplements and alternative treatments to help me. You have no idea how humbling and grateful we are.

May today bring healing to everyone who needs it.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



2 thoughts on “The Bus and Freedom and Finishing the Hike

  1. I hope you are starting to feel better today. Your post brings back many unpleasant chemo memories (the fatigue, the hair loss, the disgusting taste, the allergic reactions, etc.), but also reminds me of all those days that I just tried to let my body and mind heal by resting, and letting those who loved me take care of me. Agreed…may today bring healing to all those who need it, including you and Andrew McMorris’ family.

    Liked by 1 person

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