“Not Today”

Man, do I love people sometimes.

I was uplifted all day long in prayer, texts, messages, and Facebook.

I always wear either a special shirt or socks when I go to the hospital. Yesterday’s shirt was a nod to Arya Stark from Game of Thrones. She was asked several times, “What do we say to the God of Death?”, to which she replied…

“Not today”.

As I explained what the shirt meant, people smiled and said, “Not today”.

I went to the hospital, and they let rob come in with me for the insertion of the IV. I was quite a sight with hot packs all over my arms as I walked into the room. It took some time to find a vein, and it blew when they flushed it.

I put my big girl pants on and told them to just go ahead and do the inside wrist.

For this of you lucky enough to never have had an IV put into your wrist, let me tell you.

It hurts like hell.

I held onto rob and he even helped the tech because blood was spurting out and onto the floor.

Once we cleaned up, I went to the room for the injection. My friend Heather who is a nurse found me, and you know when you see someone who loves you right after something hard, you start to cry?


She hugged me, I started to breathe, then everyone left the room as the machine injected radiation into my wrist. I felt it as it traveled up my arm and into my body, and I prayed that it would just float around without any cancer cells gobbling it up.

Then it was into the isolation room for one hour.

I listened to a Brene Brown sermon that I wish everyone could listen to. She spoke of how she loves God, but she and church have had a difficult relationship. She spoke of the three things she loves about church…

The singing.

The passing of the peace. Wishing peace and receiving peace from strangers, people who may be so different from you in terms of politics and attitude and the way they live, but one day a week we all end up sending peace to each other.

The rail. Coming up to the rail and getting on your knees and breaking bread with others, believing that you are saved.

She also spoke about how we’ve become so isolated as a society. People defriend others in social media who they disagree with politically or on social issues. Not me. I have all sorts of people on my feed, and I see everyone’s points of view. Other people only see one side, and it’s becoming harder for others to meet in the middle.

She spoke of how people become so mean and spew hatred about others. People became upset when President Obama and his family were ridiculed. Those same people are now some of the worst offenders towards President Trump. She said you can’t say it’s wrong for one and not for the other.

And that’s what’s wrong with society today.

It was a great sermon.

I also read a new Oprah book and it helped me stay calm.

Then I went into the room with the machine and was strapped down, chest plates laid over my body, me head strapped down with the big face mask, and into the tube I went. I requested the Nat King Cole Christmas station, and since they were looking at my brain as well, they couldn’t give me headphones, but they piped it into the room. I breathed, looked at the upside down beach picture for a moment, then closed my eyes and meditated and listened to songs about Jesus’s birth and family and love and Christmas trees.

I even fell asleep and scared them when I didnt answer right away when they asked how I was doing.

After about an hour or so we finished, and rob and I went to eat then went to Barnes and Nobles. I got four books that spoke to me, one was the book the shaman told me to get.

Later that day, the shaman commented on my blog that had the picture of the book in it. The universe winked at me to let me know the book was the right choice.

The Untethered Soul.

I rested the rest of the day with my kids and joe staying three to five feet away from me. We joked about me being radioactive and had a quiet night.

My daughter’s track coach who is one of the most dedicated and amazing coaches I’ve ever met posted a fundraiser for four student athletes to go to a national meet they qualified for. Our town is big with football, lacrosse and cheerleading. Track?

Not so much.

I had one of my God whispers that these girls had to go to this meet, and they needed $2,500 to get there. I shared his fundraiser and rob and I donated. Then?

People in this town filled my heart with love.

In just a few hours, they now have $3,000 to help them get to the meet in North Carolina.

Some people hate facebook.

Not me.

Last night it helped a former student see how much this town supports and loves her and her teammates.

Man, I love people.

Today I’ll do my best to not check my email to see if my oncologist manages to get a wet read of my scans even though she is in NYC.

Then I’ll go to a Night of Strings at the High School, where all three of my kids will be playing. It’s a beautiful night.

May today bring peace, laughter, love, and great scan results along with beautiful music.

In Jesus’s name, amen.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s