Round 13, Another Appointment, and How to Talk to People

I’m SUPPOSED to start round 13 of the targeted chemo this morning.

I have always started on a Thursday.

I have always take it in the morning.

Not today.

For two reasons.

1-The very expensive drug which costs about $11,000 a month for the insurance company isn’t in stock at the local pharmacy. It needs to be called in, then mailed fed ex, and it needs to come in an”Warning! Toxic!” Bag. It also has to be called in every month, and it hasn’t arrived yet.

2-My oncologist wants to see me today. It’s been one month since I restarted it after the “pesky appendix which completely healed but was still removed”. The week I get to take one less pill every cycle can really lower a girl’s white blood cell count. I think she wants to see how I did, and I need to tell her about the jaw pain, (“Just say no to Jaw Necrosis”), entire body pain especially with the weather, and that I think this has all been a mistake, and if it wasn’t, Jesus has taken care of it and I believe we are all good.

I think she enjoys our sessions.

She wanted me to hold off on taking the Ibrance until after the bloodwork today. I’ll teach all morning then head to the hospital.

I’ll make a pit stop at the high school to thank the security guard and the teacher for the hard work in recovering the phone.

Everyone said it was a lost cause.

Not me.

I knew we would get it back.

One of those whispers.

Something that was amazing was how many people questioned the actions of my daughter.

“Why did she have the phone in school?”

“She shouldn’t have forgotten it.”

“Why didn’t she tell right away?”

I did it too.

Then it hit me.

We were all victim shaming.

Only one thing mattered.

Someone stole her phone. There’s no mistake about it, as I am pretty sure she is the only kid in the whole school with our last name, as well as a very expensive EMF protector disk on the back to protect from the cell radiation the phones give our.

The only questions asked should be, “Who stole it?”

“What procedures will we now put in place to prevent this crime from happening again?”

I’m not dropping it.

Yes, we have the phone back.

But we need to stop being complacent about crime, because that makes the perpetrators more emboldened.

If someone steals your kids stuff,

Report it.

Hunt them down and get it back.

It’s not ok.


(Ok, Liam can go back to bed now).

I’m getting ready for work, then the hospital. I had a mini breakdown this morning, as I still can’t believe this is my life. Sore body, sore jaw, appointments, bloodwork… dark thoughts.

When I came home and discovered that I had apparently seventeen cases or so in a cabinet above the fridge and in assorted spots, i realized I really need to unburden myself of stuff.

Mugs ain’t the only thing I’ve collected apparently.

The good thing is all the vases are gone, donated last night.

My goal is by July to get rid of everything that doesn’t bring me joy.

Including the dark thoughts.

I read some bible study this morning to help me out. There are a lot of accounts of healing in the Bible.

I’ll share a picture or two that I took.

Today, may we all watch our words, be kind, and may my blood be so good that my oncologist says, “It is done. Go forth in peace.”

In Jesus’s name, amen.



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