January 13, 2017

I’m going to start to put up some of my “Facebook Memories” posts. This way you can see the journey as it unfolded.

“Metamorphosis”

Last night I had my head on Rob’s chest and said I don’t feel like myself anymore.

I feel like there is a BC and AC Keri.

I was sad for the loss of the old me. The old me who never worried about what she ate and if it fed her tumors. The old me who took for granted every moment.

The old me who didn’t feel like she had to change.

But I did change.

I’ve been changing ever since I found the lump. I told my mom that I wish I could go back to the frightened Keri of those weeks of not knowing and just hug her, and tell her that no matter what, she would be ok.

Now?

I’m swallowing ginormous pills.

Me.

The girl with the gag reflex.

I’m drinking and eating fruits and vegetables.

Me.

The girls whose only vegetable was ketchup.

I’m taking chances and meeting people and drinking things that taste like dirt and smoke and mushrooms.

Me.

The girl who drank fine wine.

I’m praying every day, and talking to God all the time, as well as talking about God to others.

Me.

The original “I’m only going to church on Easter and Christmas”.

I’ve forgiven others and myself.

Me.

The Scorpio who never forgave or forgot.

Last night Madison was having a tough time. Feeling overwhelmed, and was being hard on herself. She asked me if she was the perfect daughter I dreamed of.

I told her that I don’t want a perfect daughter. I want a kind and happy and generous daughter. Generous with her love, her time, her forgiveness, and kindness.

We are all changing.

I was the caterpillar, eating away, slugging along.

Then I was wrapped in my cocoon of fear, not moving, shaking, frozen in time.

Now I am breaking free, spreading my wings, starting to feel lighter. I may be losing some of my hair, but I feel beautiful.

It’s a mint, magical, metastatic metamorphosis.

It’s me.

Let me introduce myself.

Hi, my name is Keri, and I am cured.

❤️

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