I highly recommend to never ever ever have a chemo overdose.

I felt like I was dying yesterday.

It was actually worse than the day before, so I am grateful that I had gone into the hospital and gotten fluids and labs and a plan and answers and ordered the creams and lotions.

God came through once again and everything that I needed came.

My dad was the kids Uber driver. He went and got me a nutritious smoothie order from Paula so I can keep up my energy.

Quinn was picked up by a mom friend and had a great day of bowling and laughs.

The cream we had overnighted came at 11:00 in the morning so I had all day to lather it on.

My mom came and sat with me and I slept with my head on her lap on and off.

Our family Christmas gift that was on backorder finally came, two weeks earlier than planned, so the kids have something fun to do now the last two days of break.

I binge watched “Virgin River” on Netflix and it kept my mind off of the pain all day.

I managed to eat and drink.

I can swallow without crying.

I played with a new wig I was gifted.

Mentally however… talk about the tightrope.

I tried not to think about how this is how it will be at the end.

My friend Vanessa said that maybe this huge dose knocked all the cancer out at once. Having my doctor call early in the morning to say how great the labs are made it more tolerable.

It’s the chemo, not the cancer.

Rob is literally the best man I’ve ever known.

He helped me as I had to gingerly rub lotion all over my body and hands while swishing and trying to swallow mouthwash while I was simultaneously crying at how bald I am and have this rash everywhere and can’t move my fingers.

He kept reminding me it’s temporary.

He kept telling me he loves me.

He kept reminding me of the labs.

The lotion smells horrible and he reminded me of the lavender sheet spray.

I told him I’m afraid this is how it will be at the end, and he said it won’t be like this forever.

It was a hard day.

If you can wake up today and just go and do what you want, please realize how lucky you are.

Then go be kind to everyone, because apparently this world needs kindness. Pray for Australia, pray for our troops, pray for your local town, pray for people who are ready to throw stones at others while carrying their own sandbags of sins.

Yesterday was a day where i felt like i was a hospice type patient.

I’m about to get up and start moving today.

Today will be better, as I see the steroids have started to lessen the rash on my arms.

We may go to St Isidores tonight for a 6 pm Polish Christmas carol concert if I am up to it.

Tomorrow we will try to get Morgan to the new church that has agreed to allow her to finish confirmation classes AND accept me. Thank you, Jesus, for kind people and family members.

I’ll make the judgement call tomorrow about going to work Monday.

I tend to bounce back quickly, and as long as I can walk and talk, I’ll be there.

I’ve got two days to see.

Please continue to pray for a full recovery from this… from the chemo and the cancer.

I keep thinking if this has made me such a hot mess on the outside, it must be destroying the cancer on the inside. Plus I’ve got the chinese herbs, donnies protocol which i can begin again once I can swallow, I’ve done some major forgiveness and soul work the past two weeks, and I’ve got Jesus by my side.

Im all good.

In Jesus’s name, amen.

Xoxo

Keri