This one is a throwback. Fits the feel of the day.
It’s no secret the past three days have been hard.
Well, the last week.
Actually the past three months.
From thinking rob had thyroid cancer…
to Morgans alopecia…
to being told I had weeks or months or a year or two left…
to not one but TWO Disney vacations cancelled and seeing other people smiling on vacations while our world has been crashing down, thinking, “How can other people have such great times and smile while we are crying?”…
To chemo, huge needles, spinal biopsy, breast biopsy…
My wounds have been big.
Instead of curling up on a ball of fear, anger, resentment, jealousy…
I have opened myself up to courage, forgiveness, gratefulness and healing.
Believe me, it’s not easy and not perfect. Last night I had a moment of anger and jealousy and disbelief and hurt. But then I had to let it go, because those feelings feed my cancer. I got rid of the source, took a detox bath, and talked about my reiki class with rob.
Something the reiki master said struck my heart.
Some reiki practitioners are “Wounded healers”.
The wounded-healer is a powerful one in the culture. She said there are so many beautiful people who, in spite of life changing health challenges, show us the true meaning of fearlessness, empowerment, truth and beauty. Many have learned to value energy medicine, like Reiki, as part of their path to awareness, healing and enlightenment. I realized I am my own “Wounded Healer”.
I have wounds. But through my wounds I am finding beauty in others, gratitude for others, forgiveness, more love from strangers than from people I have known for years, more mindfulness, more patience, more God.
My mom and dad and siblings and spouses have been there for us for it all. From listening to me sob, to taking reiki class with me, to cooking new foods for me, to hugging me, to texting rob and talking with my kids, and just being here. God gave me a family that has my back, and helps me stand when I feel like I can’t. Days like yesterday.
Jesus is a wounded healer. He took our sins and had such pain on the cross.
He is my wounded healer.
I’m going to church today to love Him and thank him.
Yes, I may be wounded… now.
I am a dragon.
I am a Phoenix rising.
I am the daughter of a king.
I am cured.
I am cured.
I am cured.
In Jesus’s name, amen.